Xi delegation kicks the awkward questions to touch

The English pronunciation of the Chinese vice-president’s name is “She” — and the Government’s maxim for this trip is: “Xi, Who Must Be Obeyed.”

Nothing has been left to chance, especially not the chance to allow journalists to ask Mr Xi any awkward questions about human rights. So it was a surprise to note the official schedule said he would see a “demonstration” at Croke Park.

But, of course, this was not a demonstration by Amnesty International for suppressed Christian group Falun Gong, but a demonstration of GAA skills, and Mr Xi even got in on the action with the sliotar. It was nice of Mr Xi to have a go, and one does not wish to be unfair about his first try, but as Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh might have put it: “Mr Xi’s father is from Dengzhou, his mother from Beijing — neither a hurling stronghold.”

Indeed, there was nearly an unfortunate diplomatic incident as Brendan Cummins was showing the vice-president how to puck as a Chinese official leaned in dangerously close. He only avoided a severe whack from the sliotar when a GAA handler warned: “You’ll get your head smashed off!” and he pulled back just in time.

The day began with Mr Xi stroking a new-born calf in Co Clare that had been named after him, and let’s hope little Jinping Xi fares better than the last calf to get into politics in front of the media. The calf British prime minister Margaret Thatcher was photographed cuddling it in the 1979 British general election campaign died four days later.

The big question of the trip — Mr Xi’s only European stop between the US and the Middle East — remains: Why the hell is he here? Nobody has a real answer, but Enda Kenny is delighted with himself nonetheless.

The Chinese have come under fire for colonising large swathes of central and southern Africa as they search ever wider for the raw materials and food they need to feed their economic boom.

African regimes are happy to take the investment, especially as it come with none of the that tiresome Western interest in democracy and freedom of speech. An attitude that seems to have spread to Dublin as the Government has conspired to ban any chance of journalists questioning Mr Xi on his trip. So, we won’t find out why he is so keen to protect the Syrian regime at the UN Security Council.

Not that some outlets actually need such official censorship, as RTÉ’s main Saturday night news was eager to please Mr Xi all on its own. The only mildly critical reference to the vice president was a mention of “allegations” of human rights abuses in China. Allegations? Well, that’s certainly one way of putting it. Maybe RTÉ could get some balance by asking Nobel peace laureate Liu Xiaobo what he thinks about the trip?

Hang on a minute, they can’t, because he is serving an 11-year prison sentence for “inciting subversion of state power” — meaning he wanted the most basic of freedoms.

But this trip is all about the money, and after a bit of deal-signing in Dublin Castle, it was off to a private performance of Riverdance.

It must have taken all Enda’s restraint not to burst into a rendition of Isn’t Xi Lovely.