Survivor’s story of rape: ‘I wanted to wake up and realise it was a bad dream’

“I CAN’T really remember much during the following weeks, the only way to describe my life was unemotional. Food was horrible and tasteless. My head was surrounded in a thick fog and everything moved slow. I couldn’t laugh or cry, it was like I forgot how to feel. My body was on automatic. I did what I had to do and never seemed to sleep properly.

“I kept asking myself, why me? What have I done so wrong? Why hadn’t I done things differently? The answer would never be that simple because I couldn’t understand what I had done, I wanted so badly to kill that part of my life, I didn’t want to die but I wanted to wake up and realise it was all a bad dream.

“I started counselling four days after my rape. It has helped me so much to understand and get an answer to the questions I always ask myself.