Red-hot reception at Kimono Callely’s expense

LESS Sex And The City, more Lolly And Leinster House, but the online premier of the monthly expense claims of Oireachtas members still drew quite the crowd.

All eyes and cameras were hoping for a glimpse of Senator Ivor Callely as he sashayed along the red carpet to an equally red hot reception, but, strangely, he was uncharacteristically keeping his head down.

Ivor the Expenses Engine must have done what so many of his colleagues were urging him to do – got lost, after all that unpleasantness about the North Dublin Senator claiming €81,015 in travel costs from his West Cork home.

But then Mr Callely is no stranger to controversy as gardaí questioned him last July after his yacht was involved in a reported hit and run with other boats at Baltimore. One account at the time suggested the senator had been clad in a kimono when the guards came knocking, so his travel expenses would suggest he is a firm believer in the adage “Wherever I lay my kimono, that’s my home”.

His boat Serendipity II reportedly collided with two vessels and caused €40,000 worth of damage. When he was tracked down, he helped with inquiries and passed on his insurance details.

And that was the last we heard of the feisty Fianna Fáiler until that travel bill raised the ire of his Fine Gael and Labour Seanad pals. It also provoked the most unlikely of responses from the Taoiseach – action, as Brian Cowen demanded a written explanation of what exactly has been going on.

It would be pushing things to say Mr Callely’s expenses claim brought the Upper House to life, but the controversy certainly saw the Seanad murmur from its long coma to briefly stir, mumble something about standards and respect for the public, and then fade slowly back to sleep once more.

Money may have been the main topic in the Seanad but sex was the order of the day in the Dáil, well Sex And The City 2 to be precise, which Labour’s deputy leader Joan Burton had reviewed on national radio. Joan thought the whole thing an escapist wheeze, but the sight of a smug Mr Big nearly burst her bubble as he kept reminding her of the Nama-drama.

But Ms Burton shied away from the killer question of who would be the Dáil equivalents of the SATC foursome?

Perhaps that is because the rather, ahem, restless Samantha could only really be compared in political terms to one deputy. Yes, step forward Labour leader Eamon Gilmore who has been so daringly politically flighty – notching up the Workers, Democratic Left, Labour – and now planning to get into bed with Fine Gael as soon as the chance arises.

Enda Kenny is too easy a fit for the prim and proper Charlotte, which just leaves Mr Cowen either uptight, workaholic Miranda or moany, self- absorbed Carrie. It would be nice to find female comparisons, but as Ireland has fewer women in its national parliament than Rwanda, Cameroon or Uganda, there’s little chance of that.