`Pain will never go`

SHANE MALLEY pulls opens the black steel hall door, a tiny baby girl cradled in his left arm. Born in January, her name is Rene, from the French word renaissance which means new beginnings.

If ever a family needed a new beginning, it is the Malleys.

Just over a year ago, their “full-of-life” son Arran died in an upstairs bedroom after he became entangled in a window blind cord. He was 22 months old. Since then Shane and Gillian Malley from Cloneen, Carrigtwohill, Co Cork, have gone public with their grief, determined that “no other child should die like Arran”.

But, tragically, another child died last month in hauntingly similar circumstances. Just 14 months old, Eibhe Foster from Piltown, Co Kilkenny, died as a result of blind cord strangulation in her family home. Her pregnant mum, Claire, was only metres away.

“I was disappointed and horrified that our story didn’t reach this family. I know exactly what they’re going through,” says Shane.

Eibhe’s death has also brought back painful memories for Gillian. “You don’t expect the pain will ever recede and it doesn’t take a lot to bring it back,” she says.

Despite their heartbreak, their children – Jude, five, Alexandria, two, and Rene, nine weeks – demand that they live in the present. As we speak in their kitchen they weave in and out of the conversation with comments and requests. When Jude is told why I’m here he recounts the story of Arran’s death in crisp detail but without any hint of sadness – it is a fact of his young life.

“He is lucky with his age,” says Gillian. “He knows his brother died, yet he won’t have the pain. It’s like talking about somebody else. But we don’t let him forget.”

Has the new baby helped to lessen the pain? “She certainly helps,” says Gillian, 36. “But at the end of the day there is still a silence in the house. That silence never goes away. I’m busy and that helps. There’s less time to think.”

In the year since we last spoke, the Malleys have engaged straight-talking solicitor Tom Coughlan, who is suing Cork Window Blinds and Moontime Trading Limited under the Liability for Defective Products Act (1991), due to alleged “negligence” and “breach of duty” in fitting the blinds.

I ask Shane how the case is progressing: “It’s slow going,” he says.

According to Mr Coughlan, the defendants will have to decide whether they will admit liability within the next six weeks. If they deny liability then court proceedings will begin immediately. On the anniversary of Arran’s death, Shane wrote to Taoiseach Brian Cowen, Minister for Health Mary Harney and President Mary McAleese asking for the recently revised EU standard on blind safety to become mandatory. He received an acknowledgment from the President, who pointed out that her office had no influence in this area. The Health Minister wrote acknowledging Arran’s death and promising to pass on the letter to Mary Coughlan, Minister for Enterprise, Trade and Employment. There was no response from the office of An Taoiseach.

Not prepared to wait for Government action, Shane has teamed up with Aaron O’Connell from Direct Blinds in Little Island, Cork, who has set up the website: www.windowblindsafety.ie.

Dedicated to Arran Malley, it offers practical, step-by-step advice on how to make corded blinds safe.

“There are no horrendous stories like you find with the blind safety websites in the sates,” says Shane. “I felt people would only click off the site if they saw this. Instead we opted for a practical, informative guide on blind safety.”

Aaron O’Connell has 25 years of experience in the blind industry and went on a four-day week to develop the website, even taking the pictures himself.

“When blinds are being installed that’s the time for the safety devices to be put in,” says Shane.

“We are not trying to kill the blind industry – just make it safer. The blind industry should be happy that steps like these are taken because then their blinds are safe. It’s better for them and better for everybody.”

The inquest last July into Arran’s death was covered by national TV, radio and press. The findings of state pathologist Dr Margaret Bolster gave some comfort. She reported that Arran’s death was instant due to the trauma suffered by the vagus nerve, which gives the heart the impulse to beat.

“It was a relief to hear that he didn’t suffer,” says Gillian. “Under the circumstances it was the best news you could get. I could have been in the room with him. I could have done all the CPR in the world, but it wouldn’t have made any difference. Not that it lets me off the hook – you still always think…” Her voice trails off before adding: “I should have been there.”

Shane refuses to take comfort from the pathologist’s report.

“I still would have to know exactly what happened. If I was with a professional dealing with the family that’s what I’d tell them. The evidence points towards that but you’d never know.”

While the immediate shock of losing Arran has receded, his memory is kept alive throughout the house. A new sketch of him, based on a picture taken weeks before he died, hangs in the hall and all around the living room are family shots which include Arran with his trademark ice-melting smile. Rene now sleeps in his bedroom. “We want to see the room grow,” says Gillian. “I don’t want it to be forever a two-year-old’s room. So the challenge is how to do that without removing Arran from the room. We still like to think he’s around. But you just don’t hear him.”

They are due to attend a support meeting, organised by the Irish Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (ISANDS), in the morning. It’s been an important lifeline and has given them a sense of perspective. “People can go through life without ever having a child whipped away from them. Thank God they are innocent,” says Gillian. And, yes, her innocence and trust in life has been shattered: “The rug gets pulled out from under you – that’s what it’s like for everyone in our group – it’s so sudden…”

Understandably, she has not found a place to park a loss that runs contrary to the natural order of life. “The pain never fades. But you can manage it better because it becomes more the norm… I’ve forgotten what it’s like not to have lost a child. I’ve forgotten how carefree it was 16 months ago... It’s a life sentence.”

Shane has channelled his overwhelming sense of loss into raising awareness about blind cord safety within the industry and among the public. “Thousands and thousands of blinds have already been fitted. It’s not a difficult thing to make them safe, you just need to get the information and if you think it’s above you then get someone professional to help you.”

And he is scathing about customers objecting to being asked to pay for safety fittings.

“People worry about spending a few euro for installing safety devices, but if we could get Arran back, I’d give everything I have, I’d give the shirt off my back, I’d give this house, I wouldn’t care…”

He stops. And in the long, white silence that follows the massive cost of Arran’s tragic death is palpable.

With four seasons of campaigning behind him, Shane is ready to take a break. “I’ve got to the point where I’ve done some work. We’ve got the website set up and I want to step back a little bit and get on – for the children’s sake. As they get older I don’t want them to say: ‘Dad was obsessed with blind safety, that’s all he kept talking about.’

“I’m hoping the EU standard will become law and will be enforced. When that happens it will allow me to stop talking about blind safety.”