Greens squeak as the old and cold hit hard

THE best budget joke so far has to be: What do John Gormley and a caterpillar have in common? Answer: They are both Green and spineless.

A tad harsh, perhaps, but as with all humour, it is funny because there is some truth in it.

It was one thing for the Greens to stay silent during the embarrassingly drawn-out death pangs of Bertie Ahern’s premiership. The party held its collective nose at the sordidness of it all and looked away under the cover of saying it would wait for the verdict of Judge Mahon before delivering its own.

Luckily for them Bertie jumped just before he needed to be pushed and the Greens’ gamble paid off.

But not lifting a finger of protest as medical cards went up in flames on a bonfire of spite and incompetence, while those on the minimum wage see a disproportionate chunk of their disposable income disappear with the so-called solidarity tax?

That is another matter entirely.

It took the bravery of a Fianna Fáil TD’s resignation last night to force the Greens to make the merest squeak about medical cards — and even then neither of the party’s ministers dared speak up.

But then Mr Gormley had already gone on the record stoutly defending what most of his own voters see as indefensible, when he talked loftily of how opposition parties were concerned with “parochial matters” rather than thinking of the future of the planet.

Any cutback could be excused as insignificant set against the noble fight for the future of the planet, but the elderly and poor will not appreciate their feelings of disgust and betrayal at the budget being blithely dismissed as “parochial”.

Especially as the Greens don’t seem to be getting payback for their silence from Fianna Fáil with a whole lot of planet saving.

If the embarrassingly empty exercise in political fantasy known as the so-called carbon budget was anything to go by, Mr Gormley needs to seriously think again.

A few extended targets, the odd cycle lane, and a diversion into the realm of sheer delusion with the claim 10% of Ireland’s “road traffic fleet” — whatever that might be in English — will be powered by electricity within 12 years.

Indeed, listening to Mr Gormley, you could have been forgiven for thinking you had slipped into the world of “magical realism” pioneered by Columbian novelist Gabriel Garcia Marquez as the Green leader spoke animatedly about how our Noddy cars are to be powered overnight by an array of wind farms that as yet do not exist.

And in the same dumb budget that indiscriminately hit the elderly and the poor which the Greens are so keen to stand over, the super rich and their carbon footprint-stamping private jets were let off scott free from the €10 air tax.

The initial Green silence over the budget that battered the old and the cold on Toxic Tuesday was echoed on Greedy Friday when the fat cat bankers were lavished with a blank cheque to carry on regardless.

At least now we know why it took so long to make the details of the bank bailout public — the bankers were busy writing their own rules and ensuring they were as light as possible.

Mr Gormley clings to the belief the Greens will be able to justify their participation in Government with a carbon tax which he insists Brian Cowen has promised him for next year’s budget.

If FF fails to deliver on that, or comes up with something so soft it is meaningless, Mr Gormley will have to prove he does have a spine and walk away — otherwise swathes of Green voters will do the same thing to him at the next election.