Awesome force of Boniffo unleashed at UN

AS the U2 front man and the Taoiseach joined forces to rally the world on Africa an awesome geopolitical force was born — Boniffo.

Any doubts over whether Bono or Biffo was the senior partner in the fledgling relationship were soon dispelled when secretary general Ban Ki-moon belatedly entered the UN conference room and apologised for his tardiness first to the rock star, then to Brian Cowen.

“Mr Bono” as the UN chief deferred to him as, graciously accepted the regrets, and allowed Ban Ki-moon to sit at his left hand as the launch of the Task Force on Hunger report continued. But Bob Geldof, lurking dangerously in the front row had other uses for his hands.

Stung by Bono’s joke that the issue was so serious even “Bob Geldof has shaved and is wearing a suit,” the ex-Boom Town Rat enlivened the proceedings with a rapid and very lewd hand gesture which will surely go down in the annals of UN history alongside Nikita Khrushchev’s shoe banging, and Yasser Arafat’s gun toting for sheer shock value.

Surprisingly, Bono’s speech was outshone by of all people, former agriculture minister Joe Walsh, who chaired the task force and used genuine passion to implore the rich to heed his anger that 862 million people in the world are hungry, and end that scandal by acting on the report’s findings.

Mr Walsh’s achievement served to emphasise everything that is wrong with the Taoiseach’s way of trying to connect with people. Mr Cowen’s speech was woeful. He let slip no hint of emotion, empathy or energy — just ground through page after page of “best practice” and “micro/macro issues” jargon as if he were talking about nothing more than bus shelters in Mullingar.

Geldof again made his feelings clear on the matter and spent most of Mr Cowen’s contribution with his head slumped onto his desk, his arms out by his side.

As the smattering of applause for Mr Cowen began (probably in relief that he had actually finished), the noise appeared to startle Geldof and he suddenly sat bolt up right, his long grey locks smacking back against the side of his head — looking momentarily stunned, just like he did rocking back on the sofa in the I Don’t Like Mondays video 30 years ago.

A lot has changed since then and the walking mouth of New Wave has transformed into the loud global conscience which helped summon the UN’s focus to this launch.

The secretary general was wanted elsewhere as world leaders paraded through the building demanding attention like needy super models. Ban Ki-moon barely had time to recite some of the lyrics to Beautiful Day before he and his entourage hurried from the podium.

Bono handled the exit well, retaking command of the stage with warm asides that Ban needed to go as he always wept with emotion when the U2 star spoke.

The Taoiseach was also teased, as Bono remarked Mr Cowen was worshipped in some parts of the UN as a Buddhist deity — the Tao-shock. So pleased was the singer with his off-the-cuff mirth, he could not stop smiling at his cleverness and used it again.

Ireland’s dark experience of hunger was used by all speakers as a hook to try and gain interest from those who turn off at the news 70m more people are going hungry than a year ago.

With even the Taoiseach at last admitting Ireland is in recession (though it took six questions at the post-launch press conference for him to release the R word from his lips), many will eye the Republic’s aid budget with plunder in mind — as Brian Lenihan did in July.

But with hundreds of millions squandered at home by our public services, now is not the time to handicap the work Irish Aid does in the shanty towns of South Africa and slums of Dar-es-Salaam.

Fulfilling the pledge to give 0.7% of national wealth to help the poor help themselves by 2012 will be, as Bono put it, Ireland’s proudest day.

If Mr Cowen holds true to that, Boniffo will have achieved something a lot more significant than a slick photo-op.