Bertie puts his best foot forward as fight for power begins

NO one can accuse the Taoiseach of being a Bertie-come-lately to the green cause; he recycled other people’s tax pledges, ideas and slogans with evangelistic zeal as Fianna Fáil tanks were ordered to roar through the freshly-cut lawns of the other parties.

The wombles of destiny were making use of things everyday political folks had left behind and Bertie the bin-man had picked-up discarded voter-friendly trinkets along the way.

A two cent tax cut from Labour, a €300 a week PD pension promise, why, he even shamelessly lifted his brand new catch phrase “The Next Steps Forward” from Margaret Thatcher.

The slogan sounded clumsy when she used it to secure a final term in the late 1980’s, and it was obvious Mr Ahern’s fractious relationship with the English language would be tested to its limits as he used the phrase 27 times in his 28-minute ard fheis address.

Still basking in pride after announcing the Government had recycled three million commuters (he probably meant computers). Mr Ahern handled the slogan surprisingly well, spraying it around the speech with the abandon of a political Tourette’s sufferer

Bertie gaffe-fans had to make do with only a couple of drive-by swipes against vocabulary which saw the Taoiseach declaring he had fired 10,000 teachers rather than hired them, and at one point adding a mystery fourth W to the world wide web’s address.

Mr Ahern set out a wonderful vision of youth cafes, health checks, a joined-up Luas system, policemen and tax cuts, if he ever gets into power, sorry, re-elected.

The FF-ers swarming at Citywest had seemed in pensive and muted form without their leader at hand to give succour. The only comfort on offer being the sight of the choppers queuing up at the Citywest heli-pad in a dizzying display of conspicuous vulgarity.

Before he was to move amongst them again, the crowds were given a big screen reminder of the chill winds of misery which relentlessly swept through this country before 1997.

The video happened to catch ecstatic Taoiseach fans at random points throughout Ireland who all spontaneously marvelled at what had been achieved these past ten years and cowered in dread at the thought of having to struggle through life without Bertie.

As “Let’s stick together” boomed out at the end of the Árd Fheis, their fears were eased, Mr Ahern had delivered one of the best speeches of his Premiership.

This Taoiseach won’t be toppled without one hell of a fight.