An early Valentine’s love-in with their leader

PAT Rabbitte should have hit the Helix Theatre stage like a cross between an ageing American rock star and a Southern gospel preacher.

He certainly had the script for it: “Hey, Ireland! How you doin’? You happy? I said Are You Happy? Let me hear you say ‘No’!” or words to that effect at any rate.

Unsurprisingly the audience, not overly fond of the Government to begin with, became ever more unhappy, furious indeed, as Mr Rabbitte painted a grim vision of today’s rotten Republic where people dodge gun battles as they trudge between filthy hospitals and overcrowded schools on “gilded treadmills” (which Transport Minister Martin Cullen is probably planning to toll or privatise anyway).

It sounded a horrible place to live, but don’t worry, it will soon be sorted out with a two cent tax cut.

It wasn’t quite the return to red economics demanded by Labour Youth in the Árd Fheis slogan they amended from the Sex Pistols: “Never mind the blueshirts here’s the socialism”, but it cheered up the crowd, sending them into fits of rapture only equalled by a bit of drive-by Mary Harney-hating. Though by now fuming with unhappiness at the state of the State, Labour delegates were delighted with Mr Rabbitte.

This allowed the Labour leader to relax slightly as he wandered off the prepared text just once to indulge himself with a bit of oblique Bertie-bashing.

The party’s first time buyers scheme would give young people “a real dig-out” he pledged in what was surely a sly allusion to the Taoiseach’s unpleasant episode in the autumn when the nation became enthralled with the way Paddy the Plasterer et al rode to the aid of a then financially embarrassed Fiance Minister.

Despite lambasting the spiralling crime rate, Mr Rabbitte stole the main “vision thing” section of his speech — something about the need to put roses as well as bread on the table — from last year’s effort. If the crowd noticed they didn’t care as they were having an early Valentine’s Day love-in with their leader.

He had emerged to the music of indie favourites Doves and though never destined to be a political rock star, Pat was far from flat throughout. Yet there was no sense of being on the brink of a new political era about his performance.

Labour are primed to be the engine of electoral change. That prospect seemed to make them nervous rather than happy.

Talking numbers

1,000: The attendance, making it the second biggest event on Dublin’s northside this weekend.

26: The number of speakers Labour squeezed in during two hours of live tv coverage on Saturday.

11: The number who are brand new candidates

22: The number of minutes Pat Rabbitte claimed a John Bowman interview lasted without any policy question being asked.