Confusion over child discipline: survey

ONE-IN-FIVE five parents are unhappy with how they discipline their child and over 60% admit that discipline causes strife with their partner, a survey has found.

Despite the fact that two out of three parents are opposed to a ban on slapping, nine out of 10 believe it does not work long term as a form of discipline and more than half said they never slap their child.

Many of the 700 parents who took part in the RollerCoaster.ie poll said discipline was primarily the parents’ decision and should not be banned.

Parents tend to initially try a positive approach to discipline, such as talking and trying to reason with their child, but if this does not work they will then use a more punitive approach.

Many admitted that the discipline option was chosen when they are tired or stressed and was not always reasonable.

For many parents slapping is the last resort, most often used when a child places himself/herself in a dangerous situation or when other discipline methods failed.

Child clinical psychologist and RollerCoaster.ie founder Anne O’Connor, said many parents were unsure how best to discipline their child.

“There is a lot of confusion about discipline methods and which approach works best with which behaviour,” she said.

And, she said, although 45% of parents use slapping as a form of discipline, they were unhappy about it and wanted to learn alternative methods.

The survey found many parents were opposed to the ban on slapping and believe education should be used to encourage alternative approaches to discipline.

ISPCC chief executive Paul Gilligan said parents were reluctant to support a ban on slapping because they were concerned that it would impact adversely on vulnerable parents.

“Organisations like the ISPCC have to educate people on what the ban would mean. Nobody is suggesting that any legislation would criminalise parents or be punitive in nature. It is all about laying down a clear marker that we respect and value children,” he said.

Mr Gilligan also stressed that the impetus for a legal ban was unstoppable but that it would take a brave politician to act on it.

Minister for Children, Brian Lenihan, is currently working on introducing a ban on slapping and has started a consultation process for dealing with the issue of physical punishment.

While slapping is banned in a number of European countries it is still legal in Ireland under the term of ‘reasonable chastisement’.

More than a year ago, however, the European Committee of Social Rights found that Ireland is in breach of its human rights obligations under the European Social Charter as a result of its failure to prohibit all corporal punishment of children.