Dancing for a nation at the crossroads

WHEN Eamon de Valera aspired to a nation dancing at the crossroads, it’s not quite clear if he meant it to take place at the junction of Stephen’s Green and Kildare Street.

Nor is it evident if he intended for his grandson to be ceilíing on the smallest dance floor in the world in the Shelbourne Hotel, located at the aforementioned interchange.

True to his ancestor’s legacy, Éamon O’Cuiv was stepping it out at the ‘Ceilí for Nice’ with ample comely maidens, as well as Chief Whip Mary Hanafin and FF backbencher Máire Hoctor.

After giving his personal thumbs down to Nice last year, Dev Óg has reformed and embraced European culture with such aplomb that he appears to have been taking dancing lessons from the Folies Bergéres.

Along with the equally high-kicking Pat ‘The Cope’ Gallagher, who was so far out of his depth he was jigging out the Siege of Venice rather than the Siege of Ennis, the pair made up the least alluring can-can line for quite some time.

In ankle-length skirt, poor Mary Hanafin couldn’t keep up with the likely lads and needed a drink of water to recover from the excitement.

Acknowledging that the public have become bored senseless with the Nice Treaty, the Yes campaign can’t be bothered engaging in intelligent debate and have decided to fill the remainder of the time with embarrassing photo opportunities.

Just when the lunchtime strollers in Stephen’s Green thought it couldn’t get any worse than Tom Kitt and his homing pigeon of peace last week, Proinsias De Rossa went off and made a turkey of himself.

Mick McCarthy’s search for a true team leader with experience of continental action is over now that MEP De Rossa has emerged on the scene. Decked out in an Ireland jersey, the Labour president single-handedly took on an entire group of Central and Eastern Europeans, with names even the great Jimmy Magee would struggle with, and comfortably managed to look like the biggest plonker.

By allowing Ronaldo De Rossa display his limited skills unhindered, the suggestion appeared to be that if we vote Yes, the applicant countries will simply roll over and let us win next time we face them on the football field. What a shame then that neither Russia nor Switzerland are seeking EU membership.

It’s not often that Bertie Ahern comes out on top in the pronunciation stakes, so when he does he deserves some credit.

Confronted with the diction dilemma of Denmark’s leader Anders Fogh (with a silent ‘g’) Rasmussen, Bertie dodged the tricky part and admirably addressed his colleague simply as “Prime Minister Rasmussen”. God bless diplomatic protocol.

By contrast, the Danish pastry wasn’t up to the task and rechristened our hero: “Prime Minister Aaron.” Surely feeling insulted when foreigners with continental accents come over here and fail to get our Taoiseach’s name right is as valid a reason as any to vote No to Nice.

Only in town for a chat about the EU summit next week, Mr Rasmussen listened to “Mr Aaron’s” explanation of efforts on Nice II and graciously said he had no intention of interfering with the referendum campaign in Ireland.

Nonetheless, he pointed out Nice was a historic crossroads for Europe, it was essential to carry out enlargement on schedule and the EU would face an unprecedented crisis if it was rejected again by Ireland. Furthermore, Mr Rasmussen explained that adopting a rebel position, as the Danes had done by rejecting the Maastricht Treaty in 1992, was not a clever idea in hindsight as his government was now effectively trying to reverse the decision.

Good of him to stay out of the argument and not come down on one side or the other.

There were no pronunciation problems at the Green Party’s daily threat of doom and damnation if we accept Nice. Whether she likes them or loathes them, Patricia McKenna got all her vowels and consonants in place when referring to those evil-doers on the European Commission, Pascal Lamy, Gunter Verheugen and Romano Prodi.

The latest in a litany of reasons to vote No is the threat to public services from the sinister Article 133 of the Treaty, which is being sneaked in to fulfil the agenda of big business fat cats, according to Ms McKenna.

Appalled and astounded at Bertie Ahern’s accusation that No campaigners were liars, the self-styled Alliance Against Nice of the Greens, Sinn Féin and independent TDs and MEPs called on the Taoiseach and the media to tell the truth about the anti-Nice campaign.

Worse than calling them liars, Socialist TD Joe Higgins pointed out later that the Taoiseach had inflicted European Minister Dick Roche upon the No side for the duration of the campaign. Enquiring what Dastardly Dick would be doing after Nice, Deputy Higgins was probably hoping a position in the Outer Mongolian Embassy would be in order if the referendum was lost again.