Bertie furlongs ahead in ‘best turned out’

DOWN on their luck and up to their necks in senoritas, margaritas and banditos, the three amigos strode purposefully from the Ballybrit Suite.

Swiftly scotching rumours of a split between ordinary Joe's and eminent elitists in the Fianna Fáil camp, the Taoiseach, flanked by former EU Commissioner Ray McSharry and Sports Minister John O'Donoghue, reassured anyone interested he was not cheesed-off that a local cumann had organised its own race night at the Radisson last night.

Those same Joe's were the "real elite" he declared, and he would be attending their alternate fundraiser. No hard feelings then, if the party they support cannot cater for them all in the Taoiseach's teepee.