Keane would happily settle for a dog’s life

ROY KEANE loves dogs, hates complacency and struggles with fame and all its consequences as some of the most revealing thoughts from his autobiography show: On his love of his pet dogs: “Unlike people, dogs don’t talk shite. They won’t betray you or otherwise let you down. What you give you get back, and more.

“Your dog won’t know or care if you’re the captain of Manchester United or an unemployed, uneducated 16-year-old wannabe pro footballer.”

On Cork: “A superiority complex is the mark of a sound Corkman.”

On fame: “Certain things are expected of well-known people and mostly we are happy to oblige. The deal is roughly this: you’re polite; you smile and nod your head like a zombie; you play the modest hero and treat every fool you meet like a long-lost friend; and you never get angry; you become kind of superhuman, immune to alcohol and all other temptations.”

On friendlies: “Friendly internationals are a contradiction in terms, presenting a problem in my mind. You’re expected to perform and get a result yet it doesn’t really matter.”

On the 1990 World Cup: “It was nice to see Ireland surviving at Italia ’90 but the football was less than inspiring. To the public at large, most of whom wouldn’t know a football from an egg-timer, the quality of the football wasn’t an issue.”

On marrying his long-time love, Theresa: “It was a wonderful day that marked the most important development in my life.”

On faith and fate’s part in his impressive early games for Man United: “Sometimes the man above looks after you.”

On those well-publicised pub brawls of the mid-nineties: “I was never inclined to back away from trouble.”

On playing for Ireland: “In a perverse way, the Carry On style organisation worked to create team spirit. Like a family gathering a wedding party that all goes horribly wrong, everyone would decide to muck in together to make the best of a bad day.”

On a row with Denis Irwin: “Are footballers sometimes childish? Of course. They have to be, otherwise they’d just start believing that they were only playing a game!”

On not being the hugging and kissing type: “If I tend to be rather subdued when it comes to punching the air or ripping the shirt off my back after scoring a goal it is because I never forget how fine the line is between success and failure.”

On Alex Ferguson: “The manager is the only Man here. Yes, he’s hard. He radiates purpose. He’s intense, focused, driven. His commitment, his insatiable hunger never cease to amaze me.”

On what went wrong for Manchester United last season: “Glory, believing the publicity, has cost us. Rolex watches, garages full of cars, f**king mansions, set up for life, forgot about the game, lost the hunger that got you the Rolex, the cars, the mansion.”

On that newspaper interview that led to the blow-up in Saipan: “I felt the Irish fans had a right to know. They spent their hard-earned money, paid our wages and then we insult them with PR crap about all they’ve done for us. Maybe we should do something to repay the debt we owed them.