Marriage fears as thousands split up

THOUSANDS of couples are opting for legal separations rather than trying to work out marriage problems, new figures have revealed.

Analysis carried out by Accord, the marriage counselling organisation, found a 60% drop in the number of couples seeking help last year.

National director Shay Ellis said the significant reduction was worrying because it suggested couples were not prepared to give their relationship a second chance.

Last year, 3,423 people in troubled relationships sought help from Accord, compared to 5,425 in 2001.

Mr Ellis said the decrease probably reflected the growing belief held by more couples in troubled relationships that legal separation was the only route for them.

"Couples would have been advised to seek counselling by their lawyers, but I would like them to seek counselling first before they go the legal route and have already decided that they don't want to go any further in the relationship."

Mr Ellis said the service was there for all couples, no matter how serious their problems.

"We are there for couples and we can support them in many ways if they come early enough.

"People who seek our help really try to work at their relationship and I have nothing but admiration for them because it takes a lot of courage to tell someone else things are not working out," he said.

The decrease in the number of people seeking help from Accord comes as the number of separated people increased from 78,005 to 98,779 a rise of 26% since 1996, according to census figures released by the Central Statistics Office.

The census also shows the number of divorced people has increased from 9,787 to 35,059 a 250% increase since the divorce referendum in 1996.

The number tying the knot increased from 16,174 in 1996 to 20,047 last year.

While the numbers seeking help had decreased, counsellors were spending more time with couples trying to help them save their relationship.

Couples in crisis are seen immediately, but usually the majority have to wait a couple of weeks for counselling. "I'm happy we are seeing anyone who comes to us and dealing with them in a professional manner, but we need to open out a bit more," said Mr Ellis.

Accord has 57 centres and about 320 active counsellors and are there for people either before or after their relationship has ended.

For further information contact their website at www.accord.ie.