Ahern hints his memoirs would make cracking reading

NOTE to publishers: Now accepting offers for memoirs, to be written at a future date. Largest advance will secure.

Need the money because a Taoiseach’s salary is never enough, especially considering it’s taxed at 42%. And someone in the family said books were a good way of making a few bob...

Bertie Ahern took to the airwaves yesterday and insisted “the one thing that I’ll never be doing is moaning about what I receive.”