Joe Marler’s attempt to emulate Vinny Jones’ notorious ‘nut-cracker’ grab at a teenaged Paul Gascoigne (Wimbledon v Newcastle, February 1988) exposes the England prop to the risk of a 12-week ban at the very least.

When the Ireland management invited Marvin Hagler to give their players a fighting talk, The Marvellous One voiced fears for their collective safety.

When the chips were down in Paris, England’s dinner-suited players found themselves cast in the role of hapless bystanders among the pilgrims in downtown Rome, near the Vatican.