Medoc Marathon: Is this the world's 'naughtiest' road race?

Fuelled by wine and fine food, Kevin Pilley ran a marathon in the vineyards of Bordeaux

Sat, 28 Sep, 2024 - 02:00

Kevin Pilley

There comes to every person the realisation that they are not as young or athletic as they once were.

It came to me in Bordeaux. When I was overtaken by Obi-Wan Kenobi and lapped by Darth Vader. Even a Dalek overtook me. Going uphill. Only Jabba the Hutt was slower.

There are several ways to see the famous vineyards of Bordeaux and Médoc. You can go by car, by bicycle, or do them on horseback. You can see them by hot air balloon or boat. And even by all-terrain vehicle.

Or you can be chased through them by the Incredible Hulk.

Every year, the world’s largest fine wine-growing region which produces more than 800 million bottles of wine every year, stages Le Marathon du Médoc — a 42.195km “fun run” which takes in 55 vineyards and passes 50 chateaux. It began in 1985.

In this year’s race there were 7,522 finishers. The last recorded official finishing time was over five hours. One or two may still be asleep somewhere among the vines.

Camille Thiré-Monnier, who works for Airbus in Nantes, won the women’s race in a time of 2h 55.52 while Freddy Guimard, who works in a local sports shop, retained the men’s title with a time of 2h 28.46 Both won their body weight in Grands Crus.

The course runs through famous wine-growing towns such as Saint-Estèphe, Leyssac, Marbuzet, Saint-Julien-Beychevelle and Le Pouyalet, home of Château Mouton Rothschild which, with Lafite and Latour, is among the region’s original Grand Crus Classé premières crus. appellations.

A participant dressed as a tin of caviar.

Each year, this unique race and sporting challenge has a different theme. From Carnivals of the World to Amusement Parks, Cartoon Heroes, and Country and Western. Last year, it was Gastronomy and this year Play The Game. Entry applications for next year will be accepted from spring 2025.

I took part in the Science Fiction run.

“Le Marathon is a resolutely convivial run. It’s a good-time race. It sums up l’esprit du Médoc,” said race organiser Jean-Yves Saint-Céran as we stood at the starting line in Pauillac, beside the Gironde estuary.

“On this day we celebrate health, sport, and joie de vivre.”

A Wookie in shorts offered me a wine cork to chew on. “To keep up my energy levels,” he explained. Les Bouchons de Bordeaux are delicious almond sweets made to look like wine bottle corks. “You should try and eat three corks a day to keep the cramp away,” a passing Romulan smiled. “C’est l’Aquitaine way.”

I limbered up among a sea of Ewoks. You could tell the serious runners from the fun runners. The elite runners weren’t wearing Batman suits or Superman capes.

“It’s hectare after hectare of hospitality out there. The friendliness is almost unbearable,” said a gentleman dressed as a Borg.

I was surrounded by tentacles and green faces, Timelords and Jedi. “This run’s about your tastebuds. Not your lungs and legs,” said a Joker.

“It’s all about taking on liquid and making friends,” winked a RoboCop. He wagged a finger. “But not too much wine!” A health certificate (physical rather than mental) is required to enter the race.

Thousands of runners snaking through the vineyards of Bordeaux

FROM start to finish, dégustation stations, or “les postes sauvages,” offer local specialties such as “grenier médocain” (flattened pork belly) and Bayonne ham.

People hold out cheese to you as well as ice cream cornets. Whereas most spectators at marathons encourage you with cries of “Keep it going” or “Allez! Allez!” in Médoc they just say, “Pâté? Pâté?”

At the time of the marathon, a roadside sign of a cow does not mean you are approaching a cattle crossing. It means: “Warning! Complimentary barbecued entrecôte steak ahead accompanied by a nice local rosé.”

There are 29 wine tasting stops en route. Local producers pitch tables by the roadside to tempt you with their wonderful wares.

The Cap Ferret oyster stands were my downfall and the sponge stations offering the local Lillet fruit liqueur made in Podensac. Before I got to the ‘Vers St-Julien’ signpost, my face was the colour of merlot and I felt I had aged 20 years.

I started walking like Frankenstein within a half a mile of the start. Not because of cramp. But because of gout. I began to hallucinate when four Godzillas bounded past me pursued by Bilbo Biggins.

Fortunately, for a while I found myself in the slipstream of R2-D2 and Willy Wonka. I remember being passed by Dumbledore. Or was it Gandalf? And a number of Buffys and Brainiacs.

Then came real humiliation. When you are overtaken by a Yoda in a pram, you know your athletics career is over. Or never really started.

It was a pity. My training had gone well. The roadwork had been put in. For three months, I had gone to as many cheese and wine parties as I could. I had miles of cheese strips under my belt.

After a short nap among the vines, I followed the smell of gastronomy back into Pauillac to see Thierry Guibault, of the local armed services, win in two hours, 26 minutes and 50 seconds and win himself roughly 80 bottles of wine — his body weight in wine.

Every competitor gets a T-shirt, a knapsack and, at my race, an optional handshake from and photo opportunity with King Kong.

A Klingon appeared beside me and blurted out, “Heghlu’meH QaQ jajvam!” He bared his teeth, crinkled the frown lines on his cheese-grater forehead and handed me a post-race digestif.

“Today is a nice day to die!” Obi-Wan Kenobi collapsed nearby.

“Un vignoble effort, mon ami,” a voice said. It came from the direction of Aslan, the lion. Although it may have been Conan the Barbarian.

Or Gollum.

Fancy dress and serious athletes side by side.

Escape Notes

Getting there

Ryanair flies direct to Bordeaux from Cork and Dublin.

ryanair.com

Aer Lingus flies direct from Dublin too.

aerlingus.com

Where to stay

Set in an 18th-century building in central Bordeaux, the modern four-star hotel Hotel Konti Bordeaux by Happi Kulture on Bordeaux’s 10 Rue Montesquieu has doubles from €227.