Midlands dream for off-radar break
That’s not exactly good news for the Midlands. Nor is the fact that nobody really knows where the Midlands begin and end in the first place. Mention the ‘Sunny South East’ or ‘Connemara’ and everybody knows what you’re talking about. Mention the Midlands, however, and all that’s conjured up is a boggy, amorphous, vaguely central black spot.
But here’s the thing. The Midlands are a nightmare to market, but they’re a dream for those in search of an off-radar break. They’re full of surprises (did you know Charlotte Bronte honeymooned in Banagher, or that Birr’s Great Telescope was the first to provide a glimpse of distant galaxies?), and hotspots that aren’t swamped by punters.
They have the magic, in other words. All you have to do is find it.
One place to do that is Lough Boora (loughbooraparklands.com). This brooding and boggy Offaly lake would never feature on a holiday programme, but the more I got stuck into its pathways, wandered among its whispering reeds, and explored the clever sculptures erected in the wild setting — a pyramid created from glacial stone here, a bog-wood road there — the more I was sucked in.
If you fancy something stronger, or indeed longer, contact the Slieve Bloom Walking Club (slievebloom.ie). It runs organised walks every weekend. Walks cost €5 and an upcoming eco-weekend (Jul 12-14) includes family nature studies and a Lough Boora cycle.
The Slieve Blooms offer tracks and trails for all abilities and none. You could bite off a chunk of the 60km Slieve Bloom Way, or take a few steps into Knockbarron Forest, finding yourself on top of an esker left by retreating glaciers.
Another easy stretch is the 12th century Rock of Dunamaise in Co Laois. Set on the Portaoise to Stradbally Road, this old fort formed part of Aoife’s dowry when she married Strongbow, and the view from the top must take in several counties.
“Even the stones speak,” Pope John Paul II once said of Clonmacnoise.
I grew up close to the religious site founded by St Ciaran in the 6th century, and remember coming here as a child, hopping the wall and making a dash to sit on the stone chair in which he celebrated mass in 1979. But today’s Clonmacnoise is different. The churches, round towers, high crosses and early Christian gravestones are accessed through a glossy visitor centre, and there’s an entrance charge of €6/€2 (heritageireland.ie).
Nowadays I can’t sit in the Pope’s chair for free. But there are plus points — a substantial upgrade of the heritage site, better conservation, and a café for that all-important cuppa. Clonmacnoise still looks as dramatic as it always did, perched above a twist in the River Shannon — now it’s better-preserved for posterity too.
Not far south of these ancient ruins, you’ll find the Georgian Gothic pile of Birr Castle (birrcastle.com; €9/€5). Although the castle itself is closed to visitors, you can tour the exotic gardens, see the Great Telescope, and browse a collection of optical instruments including the night glass through which the French fleet was sighted before the Battle of Trafalgar.
Birr Castle has been at the heart of the town since Norman towns, with Georgian features like Oxmantown Mall and Emmet Square all developed under successive earls.
In the middle of it all, you’ll find Emma’s, a little café at 31 Main Street. Locals love this spot, with a play corner full of colouring books down the back, and a blackboard listing the wraps, sambos and soups that have won it Offaly’s Best Casual Dining at the Irish Restaurant Awards now for three years running. It’s a plum place for a quick lunch.
Elsewhere in the Midlands, I’d recommend Annie McNamara and Mary McCullagh’s Left Bank Bistro in Athlone (leftbankbistro.com), and the Fatted Calf in Glasson (thefattedcalf.ie). The Wine Port is usually the restaurant people recommend around Lough Ree, but this nearby gastro-pub offers all the oohs and aahs for a fraction of the bill.
Last time I visited, I demolished a hot roast beef sandwich on a Waterford blaa, served with rocket, horseradish and potato and smoked celeriac soup for €10.50. If it’s your first time, shoot straight for the buttermilk fried spiced chicken. You won’t regret it.
The Midlands may be landlocked, but Westmeath is peppered with lakes, and skirting between them makes for a nifty driving tour.
I like the old diving boards at Lough Owel, reached by crossing an old railway bridge just outside Mullingar. Nearby Lough Derravaragh hides away a secluded camping and caravan park by the spot where legend says the Children of Lir were turned into swans. And then, of course, there are the woody shores of Lough Ree, the third-largest lake in Ireland.
Lough Ree is crammed with curiosities, and the best way to see them is to get out on the water on a cruiser, yacht, kayak or currach. The latter is just one of the activity options at Baysports (baysports.ie; from €25 per hour). If you want to cover maximum ground, however, hop on a Barracuda (barracudaboattrips.com; from €15pp) for a 140bhp powerboat tour from Athlone. Abandoned villages, and inner lakes are just the start of the itinerary…
Athlone’s four-star Sheraton Hotel (sheratonathlonehotel.com) has a Shop N’ stay special bundling a room from €89 per night with a €30 shopping voucher for Athlone Town Centre. The voucher is redeemed if you spend €100 in the various outlets.
In Tullamore, the Bridge House Hotel (bridgehousehoteltullamore.ie) has a midweek special with rates from €109pp, including two nights’ B&B, one evening meal, and full use of the leisure facilities. The hotel runs a busy entertainment programme and features an al fresco hot tub overlooking downtown Tullamore.
Finally, if you’d prefer a smaller stay, check out Lough Owel Lodge (loughowellodge.com; rooms from €35pp), a B&B set back from the lakeshore on a small farm outside Mullingar. Rooms are named after Westmeath’s lakes, with ‘Lough Derravaragh’ containing two family-friendly rooms behind a single hall door. You won’t be turned into swans, either.
Mid-Ireland tourism has a visitor card you can download (midirelandtourism.ie), offering special offers and discounts off attractions and accommodation in the area.
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