The other, wilder, Florida
I am desperately trying not to capsize or puncture my one-person kayak after yet another polyester-crunching collision, trapped by the tentacles of overhanging mangroves, festooned with thick, scary spider-webs.
A cloud of mosquitoes obscures vision, sinister alligators and ‘snapping’ turtles wait in the wings, the sudden leap of a silvery mullet out of the water is enough to make your heart almost stop.
But, hey, that’s the fun of being in the sub tropical Everglades wilderness — living dangerously in this vast untamed place — as our guide, Patrick Maltba, of Everglades Adventures (www.evergladesadventures.com) waves a heavily bandaged right hand, delivering tips for first-time kayakers in the labyrinth of Mangrove tunnels. “A darned alligator tried to eat one of the guests, but he got a taste of me and took off.” he explains. Imagine the audible relieved sigh from future paddlers, discovering that the injuries took place in the drive belt of his lawnmower.
With deadly seriousness he cautions “keep your hands out of the water because the snapping turtles are very aggressive here in East river. And if you do happen to upturn the kayak, get back in fast. Nothing to fear from the ’gators once they see you are taller than them. In the water splashing around, you might have a problem, though.” It was not yet 7am in Everglades City and we had already incurred the wrath of the resident territorial mocking bird. Swooping down to try and peck at heads, the tiny bird was bizarrely imitating the sound of a phone ringing on the veranda of our lovely eco-friendly guest house, The Ivey House (www.iveyhouse.com), prior to our bumpy drive towards an obscure creek.
Everglades City turns out to be a long main avenue, bisected by lanes lined with colourful timber buildings, the odd beached debris of a boat, a reminder of some long forgotten hurricane, the smallest post office in the US, and places to hang out with names like The Rod and Gun Club. Out of town, thick forest and with alligator-infested swamps to the rear, we search out another local institution — Joanie’s Blue Crab Café, a galvanised retro shack, encased in gauze wire partitions to keep out the millions of voracious mosquitoes in summer. Joanie, a feisty lady of advanced years, dressed in lilac shorts, was serving up combos of frogs legs, ‘gator nuggets, soft shell crab, all locally caught specialities, to a group of Easy Rider lookalike bikers.
Talking of ‘gator nuggets, it is surprisingly hard to avoid them here. “Most tourists try it — it tastes like a chicken that ate a fish,” reported our kayak guide, “you need good teeth, it can be a bit chewy, especially the nuggets.”
Properly cooked alligator meat is succulent, even delicious, proclaims Bob Miller, an Everglades City leading tourism promoter and owner of the Oyster House restaurant. The in-house recipe for alligator sautéed in butter with rosemary and fresh coriander, with pickled courgette and celery on the side, has even put his restaurant on the culinary map on a TV food channel. In order not to cause offence to the Co Cork and Mayo roots claimed by the affable New York businessman, we sidled up to the plate. And yes, it was tasty and succulent. But we made our excuses and fled for a trip out to sea and into the gulf with Everglades National Park boat tours to view massive manatees (sea cows) jumping dolphins, soaring ospreys and egrets, before their famous ‘gator sausage arrived.
The national park is a vast area, more than one million square miles. Called ‘grassy waters’ by the first settlers, Seminoles Indians, it has been the domain of pirates, bootleggers and criminals on the run, including an infamous serial killer, because it was easy to disappear there.
Although the main gateway is less than an hour’s drive south of Miami airport, reached by way of route 42 (nicknamed Alligator Alley), passing the signs for a Indian-owned gambling casino Hard Rock, on the way, Everglades National Park remains an under-appreciated and increasingly endangered treasure.
“It’s a sad fact of life but a lot of people just see the Everglades as a featureless swamp,” says Lisa Ostberg, a former parks and wildlife officer who fights for the survival of the indigenous Florida panther. “They skim its borders on an airboat tour (the noisy craft are banned inside the park), others just drive on to the west Florida beaches at Naples or east to hang out on Miami’s South Beach. They might stop for five minutes to take pictures of a sleeping alligator at one of the lookout points along the highway and that’s it.”
Others take a combo tour, visiting Sawgrass mills factory outlets complex Fort Lauderdale, with a skirt around the edge of the Everglades. They also like to take in ‘a show’, usually alligator wrestling, believing they are experiencing the real Florida as it was before the Europeans arrived. It all brings in needed revenue, though.
We never did get to witness alligator wrestling, having seen so many up close in their natural habitat, but with their dignity intact. It is said that, statistically, ‘gator wrestling is only slightly more dangerous than hanging wallpaper.
Having learnt that their reward will be a juicy dead chicken, those alligators picked for their placid natures and lethargy patiently allow themselves to be ‘manhandled’ and wrestled about like lambs, never inflicting grave and potentially crippling injuries in return.
As to our guilt about actually eating a portion of one … we had it on good authority that the succulent sautéed ‘gator was trapped in the wilds of Louisiana, killed humanely and there were plenty more where he came from.
Aer Lingus (www.aerlingus.com) operates direct flights from Dublin-Orlando, connections to Miami, Ft Lauderdale and Ft Myers. It’s advisable to hire a car, as the Everglades starts approx 200m south. Delta Airlines from Dublin or Shannon to Atlanta with connections to Fort Myers (www.delta.com and Continental Airlines (www.continental.com) from Dublin and Shannon to Newark-New York with onward Florida connections. Flights from €500 return.
Everglades National Park: don’t miss the Big Cypress Bend Board Walk at 137 Coastline Drive, Copeland near Everglades City, a 1.2 mile round wilderness stroll watching wildlife, flora and fauna, (observation platform overlooks the ‘gator hole). For contrast, Fort Lauderdale, celebrating its 100th anniversary in 2011, historic downtown Stranahan House, a former trading post and oldest building, surrounded by towering condominium blocks and super yachts, a fascinating throwback to pioneer life in Fort Lauderdale. (www.sunny.org)
Fort Lauderdale’s Sawgrass Mills Mall, Florida’s largest retail factory outlet centre, takes over an hour to walk through and that’s without going into any shops. The ’shop till you drop’ hordes come with empty cases and fill them with designer and sports brand bargains.!
Irish passport holders do not need a visa but must fill in a waiver online (to avoid hold ups on the other side). Apply at www.esta.cbp.dhs.gov/esta. It costs $14 so have your credit card details ready. By now travellers to the US are well used to multiple security checks and long queues. Ft Lauderdale airport is easier if you are hiring a car.
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