I'm a single lady who loves cats, but don't call me crazy

We need to ditch the image of female cat-lovers being eccentric, says Jenny McEntegart, who meets one woman with five felines who insists they are not a substitute for a partner

Aoife Diamond with her cats. "Once I met them, I knew I couldn’t leave them behind"

The phrase ‘crazy cat lady’ conjures up an image: An older woman, living alone, surrounded by cats because she somehow missed out on the life she was supposed to have.

It’s a stereotype that has lingered for decades, rooted in outdated assumptions about women, marriage, and loneliness. But in 2026, does it still have any place?

When pop star Taylor Swift signed off an Instagram post as ‘Childless Cat Lady’, she reclaimed a phrase that had long been used as an insult to women. The label suddenly became less about shame and more about refusing to apologise for living life on your own terms.

Aoife Diamond, 41, lives alone and recently fostered a cat and her four kittens. Aoife teaches English in the day and in the evening travels to elderly people’s homes to care for them. She isn’t a ‘crazy cat lady’, but a very busy woman whose instinct is to care for others.

Aoife adopted the cats after being contacted by a local rescue shelter. The mother is only nine months old — a babe herself — and the kittens are only three weeks old. It wasn’t an impulsive decision by Aoife or an attempt to fill a void. It was simply an opportunity to help animals that desperately needed a home.

“I had signed up with a local shelter at Christmas,” says Aoife, from Westport, Co Mayo. “They contacted me a month ago and I was told how they were rescued from an owner who dumped them. I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen to them if nobody took them.

I was fortunate enough to be in a position where I could help, and once I met them, I knew I couldn’t leave them behind.

One of Aoife Diamond's kittens. "Can anyone explain why a dog is considered a man’s best friend, but if a woman has a cat she’s labelled ‘crazy’? It’s laughable," she says

People might assume a single woman with a bunch of cats must be lonely. Aoife says not. “People seem to confuse living alone with being lonely,” she says. “I have wonderful friends, a busy social life, and a career I enjoy. Going home to a quiet house doesn’t mean I’m isolated. It just means I enjoy my own space.”

Aoife finds it amusing that she might be considered a ‘crazy cat lady’.

I think it’s hilarious, to be honest. Can anyone explain why a dog is considered a man’s best friend, but if a woman has a cat she’s labelled ‘crazy’? It’s laughable.

“They’re both animals that bring companionship, affection, and joy. Why is one seen as admirable and the other holds a negative connotation?”

The stereotype says far more about society than it does about women who happen to own cats.

Society has long celebrated the image of a dog as a ‘man’s best friend’. A male walking his dog is often viewed as active, dependable, and companionable. Yet women with cats have frequently been portrayed as eccentric or socially unsuccessful.

The comparison raises an uncomfortable question. If Aoife were a 41-year-old single man living alone with a dog, would the narrative be the same? Probably not. His home might be described as a bachelor pad rather than a lonely house. His dog would likely be seen as a loyal companion rather than a substitute for a partner. Friends might admire his independence, describing him as someone enjoying his freedom until the right person came along.

When the subject is a woman, however, the language often shifts. Independence becomes loneliness. A pet becomes a consolation prize. Living alone becomes evidence something is missing rather than a perfectly valid way to live.

A life that may simply have taken a different path is too often framed as a cautionary tale.

For Aoife, that’s the real issue. The ‘crazy cat lady’ stereotype doesn’t simply poke fun at women who own cats; it reveals how differently society can interpret exactly the same circumstances, depending on whether the person opening the front door is a man or a woman.

Aoife is also keen to challenge another misconception: That loving her cats somehow means she has given up on finding love herself. Far from it.

“I’d absolutely like to meet someone one day,” she says. “Being happy on your own and wanting a relationship can both be true at the same time.

“The cats aren’t a replacement for a partner. They’re simply pets that I love.”

For her, rescuing the animals wasn’t about filling an emotional gap. “The cats needed somewhere safe. If more people opened their homes to rescue animals, fewer would end up without somewhere to go.”

Like any pet owner, Aoife laughs about the chaos they have already brought into her home. “Every one of them has a completely different personality,” she says. “They’ve made me laugh every single day since they arrived. They keep me entertained far more than they cause trouble.”

As more women live independently for longer, whether by circumstance or by choice, the old stereotypes are beginning to feel increasingly outdated. Being single no longer means waiting for life to begin.

For Aoife, it simply means living a full life while remaining open to whatever the future brings.

“If I meet the right person, that would be lovely,” she says. “But my happiness doesn’t depend on it. Women no longer need men the way they used to. We’re financially independent. We don’t depend on them for security as previous generations did.

“A man would complement my life, not complete it. My life already feels rich.

“We are all on our own paths. I don’t think the path leading up an aisle to say ‘I do’ is the only one to happiness. This is a life I have built and I’m pretty proud of it.”