Diary of a Gen Z Student: A wedding is a real commitment for some — here's why

Jane Cowan, who recently attended her brother's wedding, learned the stress of certain preparations was not something experienced by all attendees.

Last week, I attended a wedding for the second time in my life. The first was my aunt’s when I was about 14; last week’s was my brother’s. And let me tell you something for nothing, a wedding is a real commitment.

And I’m not even talking in the sense that you’re fastening your canoe to someone else’s for life, praying for peace, love and happiness along the way. While that certainly does seem like a decent commitment — at 22 years old, I feel a little unqualified to speak on all that ‘till death do us part’ stuff. 

I’m just a teenage girl in her 20s. Frankly, if someone asks me to think further ahead than the cocktail bar I have booked for Saturday night, I have little to say.

No, I’m talking about committing to being ready for action on the day of the wedding. Particularly for the ladies in attendance, there’s a lot to consider before you can start acting surprised every time you notice your wine glass is empty at the reception. 

For one thing, I started looking for a dress the second I attended the engagement party last year. I spent many an afternoon in the Arnott’s changing room, asking my sisters for advice on kitten heels versus wedges, hair up versus down, sticky bras versus nipple covers, versus free movement on the dance floor. There was a lot to consider.

Lest I forget the fact I had to make sure to buy a dress that was not the same colour as either of my sisters’ or the bridesmaids’. Everyone knows you can’t wear white to a wedding. But showing up in the same colour as the bridesmaids and people looking at you like you forgot to join the bridal procession? That’s just embarrassing.

Jane Cowan: 'It’s true what they say, it’s hard to be a woman. Despite all that adversity, I eventually said yes to the dress on a whim in a vintage shop in Dublin. That was when things really got serious. I was officially going to the ball.'

It’s true what they say, it’s hard to be a woman. Despite all that adversity, I eventually said yes to the dress on a whim in a vintage shop in Dublin. That was when things really got serious. I was officially going to the ball.

Then I had to make those tougher decisions I mentioned earlier. What underwear works with the dress? Will the weather be decent enough that I’m not cutting glass at the reception if I decide to free the nip? Do I wear my hair curly or straight? I was having sleepless nights, putting together mood boards on Pinterest, just hoping the Lord would come to me with the answers.

So, on the big day, I woke up seven hours before the ceremony was due to start. Overkill, you may think? But between hair washing, contact lenses, and a missing earring, I only just about had time to put some body glow oil on my feet as I ran out the door because wearing strappy heels without a glow to the feet is just not in my vocabulary.

The morning of the wedding was also when I realised the stress of certain preparations was not something experienced by all attendees. My brother, having been dispatched from his hotel room at 6am to allow the bridal party to begin their preparations, sought refuge and an extra few hours of sleep in my hotel room.

It was his bloody wedding! And while he slept, I double cleansed my hair, applied mousse, and blow-dried. I had breakfast, picked out my jewellery, shaved my legs, plucked my eyebrows, and made final decisions about my make-up look for the day.

Jane Cowan: 'I couldn’t even begin to contemplate the stress of preparing to be the bride at a wedding. My part in the wedding was a mere five-minute speech.'

At 9am, when I was priming my skin for a paving slab of foundation, my brother finally awoke from his beauty sleep. He asked if he could borrow my facial moisturiser as he had forgotten to pack his own. And he trotted off to have a quick shower, shave and put some gel through his hair. He was still ready at least two hours before I was.

And when the stunning bride, Diana, walked down the aisle looking like she was straight off the cover of Vogue Bridal, I couldn’t even begin to contemplate the stress of preparing to be the bride at a wedding. My part in the wedding was a mere five-minute speech, and I was worried I’d forget how to stand in heels when I got up in front of the crowd. The ones actually getting married were being photographed from all angles for the entire day.

Diana was wearing one of the most exciting dresses you ever get to pick out. But my brother remembers to slap on a little moisturiser before saying ‘I do’, and it’s the most glam he will ever have to be. The double standards aren’t easy to come to terms with.