The dos and don’ts of wedding guest dressing: Dress to impress but never outshine the bride

What guests should wear can depend on the location (abroad and hot, or local and cold; countryside or city), and black tie or less formal. A dress is not obligatory for a woman and certainly not a new one, says Ellie Violet Bramley

For a destination wedding, be mindful of fabrics and what your hosts may have been hoping for when they planned Mykonos over rural Ireland, and apply that to your wardrobe.

The wedding invitation arrives and rather than feel excitement, you feel dread. What do I wear?

Weddings are full of sartorial pitfalls. If there’s no dress code, the limitless options can feel daunting; if there is, it can still be daunting, just with a guide to prevent you from feeling overwhelmed.

The trick, dress code or not, is to make an effort. If the invitation calls for black tie, stick to as close to floor-length as you can with a fabric that denotes formality, such as silk or velvet, depending on the season.

For a destination wedding — which often translates to somewhere hot — be mindful of fabrics and what your hosts may have been hoping for when they chose Mykonos and apply that to your wardrobe. Breezy linen and cotton are smarter than sweaty polyester.

If it’s a beach wedding, why not lean into the holiday atmosphere with unexpected colour combinations, prints, or the kinds of accessories that might look odd in a field, but fun on a beach? Think night out on holiday, but turned up.

For a quaint countryside wedding, you may need a fancy layer for evening chill; that doesn’t have to mean a pashmina. Would a fancy blouse work? Or could you lean in to the current trend for tying a silk scarf around everything and transition one from your bag or waist to around your shoulders when it gets nippier? Second-hand clothes websites, such as Vinted, and charity shops, are your friend here.

Get your footwear right, because spiky heels sink into grass. Ballet flats have been around the block for enough years now that there are some fun iterations out there.

And wedding-guest dressing doesn’t have to mean dresses: Consider jumpsuits or trousers and skirts. A pretty skirt could be dressed up for the day with a silk shirt, and then worn on repeat for the rest of the summer with a t-shirt.

Wearing something you already own is also a brilliant way to avoid a new-dress clash.

Co-ords are also your friend; they look put together, and can feel more relaxed than a full-blown dress. And don’t forget about tailoring. Far from cheap, but the 100% linen suits from Kipper would be perfect for a casual summer do.

There’s no need to buy a new outfit for a wedding, because, ultimately, if you’re sticking to outfits that are more broadly ‘your style’, you should have at least some of what you need in your wardrobe.

Not everyone needs, or wants, to buy a dress they’ll wear only once. Wearing something you already own is also a brilliant way to avoid a new-dress clash.

Buying a dress secondhand or, better yet, renting one, can be a great option for special occasions. As for accessories, ask around — friends and family may already have panic-bought the perfect little bag or statement necklace — or scour secondhand sites such as Vinted and Depop.

But if you do opt to buy new, and are still stuck for inspiration, here are our top picks for what to wear to nuptials this summer, whether you’re a guest or the bride herself.

Decoding the dress code

There are uncodified, but largely assumed rules of wedding-guest dressing: Don’t wear white; don’t outshine the bride; don’t wear anything too skimpy (wear a floral tea dress for country weddings, for instance).

But I think they could do with a bit of healthy subversion; think Scarlett in Four Weddings and a Funeral, looking resplendent in orange, pink, and edgy sunglasses amid a sea of grey suits.

For a quaint countryside wedding, you may need a fancy layer for evening chill – that doesn’t have to mean a pashmina in 2026.

Consider a nod to the floral look, but give it a twist by accessorising with striking, bold colours. Or you could go for gingham and traditional lace that’s been given a bit of fashion-forward oomph here with the asymmetric cut.

Otherwise, have fun with unexpected, ‘unwedding-y’ colours, such as brown or leopard print. The goal is not to feel like you’re cosplaying ‘wedding guest’ — read: no fascinators — but turn up feeling yourself, even if that means nudging at the edges of a traditional wedding guest look.

But be warned about pushing it too far: I still regret wearing a short navy dress to a wedding in a field, not because I felt inappropriately dressed, but because now, years later, I stick out like a sore thumb in all the photos.

• This article was originally published by the Guardian.