Richard Hogan: We salute all the mothers who help make the world go round

From his own mother, to the mother of his children, to mums everywhere... Richard Hogan says it's time to honour all the women who gave so much so that their children could have a healthy and happy future

"Mother’s Day is more than just a Hallmark day, it’s about taking a moment to celebrate all the great women in our lives." Picture: iStock

THERE is something special in that unique bond between mother and child. I watched it with my own children and their mother. The smile on the child’s face when their mother would pick them up and cuddle them. The infant inhaling that intimate scent of their mother. The first cries in the morning, and how quickly they turned to laughter when the baby saw that familiar figure over their cot. The comfort they’d feel just lying on her chest listening to her breathe.

It was the closest the infant could get to hearing that circulatory system that soothed them for so long. The healthy connection, hormones like oxytocin knitting mother and child together. It’s a special bond.

The child grew inside the mother for nine months, after all. The mother’s voice, their breathing patterns, their emotions, their laughter have been the child’s long before they ever take that first breath.

I remember my wife in the operating room, nine years ago, looking around to see the tiny baby that had been taken out by emergency C-section. Her only concern was the child, not her own safety; ‘is she OK?’, she asked nervously.

We had been told that things might not go well, my daughter had a rare illness and was only 2lb 6oz when she was born. She was literally the size of my hand. It was a worrying time.

Her mother anxiously looked back to see if her little baby was OK. She was, and after years of care and love is now ruling the house. Her mother always pushing her to believe in herself. She organised speech therapy for her when she was younger. She missed some sounds because of how premature she was, and so her mother fixed that early on, so that her daughter wouldn’t feel different from the other kids in school. That’s what mothers do.

Everything in an infant’s life is about connecting with their mother. When that bond is secure, the child has such a better chance of thriving as they move through life.

The role mothers play in raising children has always been paramount. This Sunday, March 15, we celebrate Mother’s Day. We salute all those mothers that gave so much so their children could have a healthy and happy future.

When I think of my own life and the women that were important to me, I think of my mother, my grandmother, my mother-in-law, Helen McDonough, Patricia Horgan, who was a great friend to my grandmother. I think of teachers like Brigid O’Grady and Nance McCarthy, wonderful women who cared about me when I was a child.

Mother’s Day is more than just a Hallmark day, it’s about taking a moment to celebrate all the great women in our lives.

When I was a kid, I used to stand on my tippy-toes as I came up the path from Shamrock Lawn into Grange Erin. I was checking to see if the car was home, the first outline of that white Ford would make my heart sink. It meant my father was home, and anything was possible. It could all be fine, playing the guitar, nice food, chatting with my grandmother, or it could be something else, something unpleasant.

That’s what alcohol does to a person, makes them unpredictable and brings out the worst shadows in their personality. So, I’d always check.

That image has changed over the years. Now, I have three daughters myself, and a female dog (Poppy). But as I look at it now, that image of that boy standing on his toes checking to see if his father is home has changed. My daughters have healed that boy.

When I come home from work and they run out to greet me and hug me — not every night now, I’m not pretending I’m living in The Waltons here, but some nights they do — I see that boy coming off his toes and firmly standing on the ground.

Those beautiful girls have helped me become a better person. They are the greatest gift I have received in my life, and when I was a younger man dating, I always thought about the type of mother the person I was dating would make.

That is why, when I met Erica, I knew the gift I’d give children by having her as a mother. When I see her with our children, I smile to myself.

And so, Sunday is about honouring mothers everywhere. Stopping and thanking them for all the sacrifices they make that are big, and the everyday, small little things they do; the tying of shoe laces, the warm dinners, the coats they make sure are tied up, the lunches that are thought-out the night before, the lifts they give, the tears they wipe, the noses they clean, the encouragement they offer.

All the love that children get in the small moments is special; it adds up and becomes an impenetrable shield of security.

I clearly remember my first day of secondary school; I didn’t have a school jumper, so I wore a blazer. The only kid that did. When my mother collected me that day, I jumped into the car, giving out about being the only guy with a blazer. “Don’t worry — I got you a jumper today.”

Mothers. They’re the best.