Diary of a Gen Z Student: A sinking feeling about shared bathrooms

Cramming for exams is one thing but cramming a bunch of students into a flat with a shared bathroom is a recipe for disaster, says Jane Cowan

Jane Cowan: 'Dealing with a random guy’s urine on my bathroom floor doesn’t feel particularly educational. Sure, it’s good to learn cooperation and communication, I guess. But the experience of fighting for a hob or some fridge space in the kitchen seems learning enough.'

So, last week I declared my plans to break up with my tendency to live like an 87-year-old woman with my decaf tea and rigid sleep schedule.

The first step to my new lifestyle has been unshackling myself from my childhood bedroom. Yes, in my last semester of college, I have finally managed to acquire student accommodation.

My life as a commuter has come to an end. I now live in an apartment with seven other students. My few days of communal living have been quite the learning curve.

Now, when I hear Government officials talking about future plans for student accommodation, I’ve got some skin in the game.

Last week, for instance, when minister for higher education James Lawless described the provision of ensuite bathrooms to students as “wasteful”, I had some thoughts...

Firstly, I get where he’s coming from. It costs more to give students their own bathroom. But do you know what else is expensive? Needing therapy because your flatmate has been secretly borrowing your toothbrush all semester.

You see, I have a firm belief that anyone who reckons students should just get on with it and share a bathroom with a bunch of strangers probably needs to experience exactly what it is that they’re proposing. The reality of student accommodation is that you will be living with adults in training.

Try as you might to encourage people to clean up after themselves, not spit toothpaste onto the mirror, pick towels up off the floor, you will be playing a losing game.

Any students that are sharing bathrooms with flatmates they were randomly assigned by their university will have a horror story.

A shower flooding the entire bathroom floor, a mysteriously clogged sink making it impossible to wash your hands, bins left overflowing for weeks on end.

In my current flat, we do not share bathrooms and we are all getting on very well. It’s quite lovely. But I also know that, if we all had to attempt to co-ordinate a morning shower schedule in order for us to all make it to a 9am lecture, the resentment wouldn’t take long to develop.

I would struggle to sacrifice my double shampoo, hair mask, and full body moisturising shower routine for anyone.

I’m not alone in my quirks. We’ve all got them. Boys, for instance, like to do things such as leave the toilet seat up and disperse their urine across the floor. They also don’t tend to have a grasp on things such as cleaning out a sink after coating it in their beard stubble.

Jane Cowan: 'I know there’s nothing sexy about shower socks. But you know what’s even less sexy? Contracting a verruca from the stranger that uses your shower.' Picture: Moya Nolan

I don’t even want to think about how a shared bathroom could accommodate the Sunday morning, hungover throwing up of multiple college students.

If the light layer of toothpaste on your mirror isn’t bad enough, you’ve also got to think about your own bathroom as akin to a public swimming pool. You can call me neurotic, but if I’m sharing a shower with a bunch of strangers, I would require foot protection at all times.

University campuses have free condoms in elevators, the medical clinic, the canteens, and goodie bags from every campus event. They even hire a band to accompany an STD testing drive. 

But you know what they never hand out? Shower socks to keep your feet verruca-free. I know there’s nothing sexy about shower socks. But you know what’s even less sexy? Contracting a verruca from the stranger that uses your shower.

Maybe you shared a bathroom with your siblings while you were growing up. And maybe you didn’t find that too bad. But you can’t tell your mother to tell your flatmate to stop stealing your toothpaste.

It makes for some uncomfortable living if you get into the habit of arguing with a bunch of 20-somethings about whose turn it is to buy hand soap.

These are the things ministers seem to forget when they talk about students having personal bathrooms as a frivolous pursuit.

There’s nothing frivolous about wanting to be able to shower when you wake up in the morning, without having to seek the prior approval of your flatmates.

Sure, it’s good to learn co-operation and communication. But the experience of fighting for a hob or some fridge space in the kitchen seems learning enough. Dealing with a random guy’s urine on my bathroom floor doesn’t feel particularly educational. We’re all just trying to get a degree. As far as I know, there’s no university credit for living in squalor. Are students not going through enough?