Orla McAndrew: To be free is to eat unselfconsciously, without pretence

Our rules about eating were never about kindness. They were about class, control and power. Watching my children eat freely at a castle dinner table reminded me how joy, not restraint, is what truly belongs at the heart of an Irish meal, writes chef Orla McAndrew

"Across from me, my children eat like small, joyful creatures. They swap plates, share forkfuls, laugh with food in their mouths. They eat with complete trust in their place at the table. It’s noisy, messy, alive."

We’re staying in Kilronan Castle for a family wedding. It was built to impress: High ceilings, long corridors, everything thick with history. The table is dressed within an inch of its life: Polished silver, white linen, glass that catches every bit of light. It’s beautiful.

I love a beautiful table. The care behind it, the quiet kindness of preparation, the way it says, ‘You’re worth the effort.’ But beauty should never choke the joy out of a meal. A table should hold us, not trap us.