'I feel sad my Dad does not have his daughter in his life — but his loss is far greater than mine'

When Adele Miner was five, and her mother seven months pregnant, she discovered her father was having an affair. Here she writes about the lasting impact of his abandonment

When Adele Miner was five, she learned he father had been having an affair. Picture: Gareth Chaney

As a little girl, I was glued to my mam’s hip. Wherever she went, I followed. She worked evenings when I was around four years old, and the noise of her keys entering the door would spur me from whatever I was doing to run and welcome her home, screaming ‘Mummy! Mummy!’ as she swept me up in her arms. 

I was taken care of by my dad when she wasn’t around, and while he treated me well, we didn’t connect the same way that I did with mam. Even as a child, I felt his distance. He didn’t chat to me the way mam did. He didn’t tell me funny stories or play silly games. He met my basic needs, but emotionally, it always seemed as though his mind was somewhere else.