Deirdre O'Kane on the power of vulnerability, being authentic, and why Cork is 'having a moment'

Ahead of her appearance at the Irish Examiner’s ieStyle Live event in City Hall cork, Vickie Maye sits down with Deirdre O’Kane to talk stand up, ambition - and the podcast everyone is talking about

Deirdre O’Kane admits she is at her most vulnerable on stage but ‘if you own it’ vulnerability is power. Picture: Brian McEvoy

We are discussing Trump and feminism when she sweeps in.

“I’m Biddy,” the woman gushes by way of introduction. “There aren’t too many of us called that anymore.”

She laughs and wraps her arms around Deirdre O Kane’s shoulder, oozing all the familiarity of an old friend.

“Woman to woman, you make my life. Honest to god. I’m a massive fan. Massive fan.”

Biddy takes her leave, beaming.

Deirdre O’Kane gives me a knowing look, eyebrow raised, anticipating the question. I don’t have to even ask.

“Yes, it’s happening more lately,” says O’Kane. “And I’m delighted. Of course I am.”

This is the power of the comedian’s podcast with Emma Doran, Keep it Tight.

Deirdre O'Kane: Keep it Tight has opened O’Kane’s already enormous audience to a whole new demographic.

Less than two years old, it quickly built something of a cult following. As evidenced by Biddy’s enthusiastic, middle-aged fan-girling, it’s opened O’Kane’s already enormous audience to a whole new demographic.

Keep it Tight is like listening to two friends having a weekly catch up. A very funny catch up, of course.

It’s respite in this busy fractured world we live in, and O’Kane acknowledges the role comedy can play.

The world is so sad. Sometimes you can’t watch because there is too much going on. People need a distraction.

She believes the success of the pod comes down to one thing — her and Doran’s genuine friendship.

“I have done several pods before, so it’s not like every pod you try works out. I think it has to be the chemistry between the two people.

“I’m mad about her. We have a shorthand.

“You really get to know people on a pod. I’m always amazed when people stop me in the street and say ‘did you ever replace the boots with the red stripe’. Like, how do you know that?”

Their podcast chats are an ‘embroidered’ reality she says, and while she’s open, she knows not to overshare, especially when it comes to family and two children (“that would not be cool” she says simply, describing her relationship with her son and daughter as “tight”).

We meet in her local coffee shop in Dún Laoghaire.

It’s a rainy Wednesday and I arrive early to my interview, a chance to shake off my sodden raincoat, grab a coffee and pull out my notes.

I arrive to see she’s already there, grabbing a quick bite to eat.

Deirdre O'Kane: I’m always amazed when people stop me in the street and say ‘did you ever replace the boots with the red stripe’. Like, how do you know that?

I make an about turn and hover outside for a few minutes, so she has a chance to enjoy her breakfast. I return as her plate is being cleared. She scolds me for not joining her at the table. I tell her she should have left the bill for me to pay.

This is the kind of celebrity Deirdre O’Kane is. She’ll pay for her own breakfast, thank you very much. She’s down to earth, saluting and waving to half the coffee shop (“they all know me here, sure I’m here all the time,” she says).

With O’Kane, what you see is what you get — the comedian on the podcast is identical in the flesh.

At the same time, she’s brilliantly confident, self-assured — O’Kane knows her talent, her worth and she isn’t afraid to say what she wants. Right now, the Ifta Best Actress winner is yearning for a challenging acting role, an opportunity to get back on the stage. And she’s shouting it from the rooftops.

This is her second chance, she says, and she won’t lose any opportunities.

O’Kane was one of a handful of female comedians on the circuit in the 90s (“people would audibly groan when they saw me coming on stage,” she says. “They thought I’d be talking about vaginas and periods”).

She took deliberate time out after the birth of her children, and when she returned to the stage, it was a different world.

“I was one of the only women doing it and I didn’t love the environment,” she says, of her early days in what was then a male-dominated comedy circuit.

“Then I stepped away for 10 years. What I’m loving is that environment is gone. It is completely gone.”

Deirdre O'Kane: 'People would audibly groan when they saw me coming on stage. They thought I’d be talking about vaginas and periods.' Picture: PIPPictures

The whole landscape has transformed, she says. Where before you needed TV for profile, now social media is building a new audience for her — she has the same number of UK followers as her native Irish fan base (she estimates it at 30% each) with 20% of her followers based in the US.

The podcast meanwhile is driving another audience.

O’Kane is riding the wave — her tour travels to Europe next summer, and she hints at ambitions to break America.

“Never say never. I’m always open. I’ve got two more years of school with my son. I’d consider Spain for a year... I would definitely consider New York.

“I like change. Now, whether I do go or not, is another question, but I’m very open to it. I just get very easily bored.

It’s funny. I’m very hungry still. I’m quite driven. I don’t feel done. It’s like, here’s my second window.

“That’s the beauty of Instagram — I couldn’t have done that before. How would they know you, how would they get a ticket.

“It’s the gift of the online and the podcast together, reaching an audience I never had. It’s very satisfying to have a sold-out tour. I never had a sold-out tour. I will not be complaining about that.”

Now the kids are “almost reared” she says she is “open to all opportunities”.

Deirdre O'Kane: 'I’m very hungry still. I’m quite driven. I don’t feel done.'

We are here to discuss O’Kane’s role as emcee at the Irish Examiner’s flagship ieStyle live event, which takes place in City Hall, Cork on Thursday, October 16. The annual sell-out event sees Corina Gaffey style a cutting-edge fashion show with a keynote speech from Irish Examiner Fashion Editor and Parkinson’s advocate Annmarie O’Connor. 

O’Kane will be back in the city again on October 30 for her stand up tour in the Opera House. The city, she says, is “having a moment”.

“In some cities there is a buzz. I can literally feel it in Cork. The comedy clubs are thriving.”

In this tour, O’Kane is as outspoken as ever. This is after all the fearless comedian who spoke frankly — and with great humour and humanity — about the hard stuff, everything from motherhood to menopause.

Later we have a very frank and beautifully honest conversation about her husband’s diagnosis with cancer (“it was the darkest of days”). O’Kane’s candidness is a breath of fresh air.

“Believe me, I did not want to talk about the menopause,” she says of her game-changing standup show. “I was very reticent, and that was more to do with vanity and age. Like, do I really have to be the face of that now.

Deirdre O'Kane: 'In some cities there is a buzz. I can literally feel it in Cork. The comedy clubs are thriving'

“You want to feel a sexy person. But I dug deep. I can only be authentic. I can only talk about what is going on in my life. And I could see the funny.

“In the same way I had to talk about my experience of childbirth and how horrendous it was… Once I saw it was funny I knew l’d have to get a hold of myself.” 

There isn’t, she says, any room for vanity in comedy. Are you, I wonder, at your most vulnerable on the stage? “Yes,” O Kane agrees. “But if you own it, vulnerability is power.”

And with that, one of the most powerful figures in Irish comedy takes her leave, ready for the next Biddy to stop her in her tracks and tell her how her comedy is changing lives.

• Deirdre O’Kane hosts ieStyle Live at City Hall on October 16. She performs at Cork Opera House on October 30