Richard Hogan: Here are my tips for making back-to-school more manageable

School isn’t what it used to be, and my own children were excited at the thought of going back and meeting all their friends again. The teenager less so, the old JC is knocking on her door this year. That should be fun.

Back to school. Those three little words used to torment me as a kid. 

The sun is ebbing away for another year, autumn drawing in with all her misty mellowness and new school bags that shortly would be rotting at the front door. 

Homework would be something you’d have to live with for another nine months. Teachers too. 

If it wasn’t for conkers and all those leaves falling, autumn would have been a little hard to bear as a child. But I have always loved autumn. It’s a magical season. 

Well, it might be a little less magical today, as all schools have opened. So, we are all back to school again. 

Uniforms to be laundered, lunches to be made, lunch boxes to be washed, lifts to GAA, swimming, scouts, gymnastics and all the rest are all back on the menu. 

You had a nice break from it there for eight weeks, but now autumn has arrived with her list of things you should be doing. 

Every teacher around the country had a restless sleep last night. School is back for another season.

As my youngest daughter said to me recently, "Do you have to pay for me to go to school?" 

When I confirmed we did, she was horrified and said, "Why do you pay to torture your child?" 

School isn’t what it used to be, and my own children were excited at the thought of going back and meeting all their friends again. 

The teenager less so, the old JC is knocking on her door this year. That should be fun.

The most difficult transition for children can be moving from primary to secondary school. It’s scary. 

The routine is new, the teachers are new, all different classrooms to navigate, finding your locker, and trying to find a tribe you belong to. It can be a little overwhelming. 

An important tip for parents is to help your child widen out their friendship group. In my experience, working in schools for many years, I often observed how some students rely on the one friend for all their support. 

So much so, when that friend is sick, they don’t go to school themselves because they wouldn’t have anyone to talk with. 

I have also noticed a trend with this type of friendship: one friend can often be devastated as the other friend makes new friends and moves away to a new group, leaving the other person isolated without any companions in school.

This normally happens around November. The pain it causes the friend left behind is all-consuming. 

So, a huge tip is to talk to your child about making friends, being open to people and chatting with them. 

I think phones have disrupted our children’s ability to make small talk. They almost have a fear of it, so role-playing it with them would be helpful. 

Just giving them a few phrases they could say when meeting someone new in the classroom could help lower their anxiety about chatting to someone they don’t know. 

Some children just chat away without any issue, while others might struggle with it and need a little help. 

Those children often build it up in their head and overly think about what they should say, so when they do speak, it sounds awkward and clumsy. 

This can further increase their anxiety about talking and motivates them to sit on their own and not talk to anyone. I meet this a lot in my clinic. 

We have to help them out of this by practising with them how to talk to people. 

Also explaining to them that everyone is a little nervous meeting new people, and that’s okay and it is normal. 

Children can feel like they are the only ones feeling a certain way, and it can be helpful to realise they are not, and we all feel a little awkward from time to time.

Helping your child pursue a hobby is an important part of going back to school. A child with a hobby is never really bored. It is great for their confidence, too. They meet new friends and learn a new skill. 

Try to encourage them to get into something they might have an interest in. Children are quick to say no, they don’t want to do something, but a little gentle nudge might be just what they need, and a lifelong interest might develop. 

Back to school might have the biggest impact on parents. And a top tip for all those parents heading back into the season of routine and busyness, don’t forget about you too. 

We must thrive as parents; the healthier we are, the happier our children are going to be. Parents often compartmentalise themselves and only think about their child. 

We have to be enjoying life too. That requires you to say ‘no’ at times, but it also requires you to meet your friends and have some spontaneous fun. 

Your life should not be only about your children. You should have a bigger life than that. 

I know we are all busy, but we should be able to find some time during each day to do something that you enjoy, whether that is going for a walk, swim, jog or just quiet time. We all need something during the busy day that helps us to replenish our souls. 

So, when your children look at you, they see an adult enjoying life. Doing that might just make the season ahead a little more fun.