Richard Hogan: Get your teenager a job, you never know where it could lead

Richard Hogan: "If you are worried that your teenager will not be active and just be on their device, I would suggest thinking about getting them a job." Pic: Moya Nolan

If you’re like me and you have a teenager rattling around the house, you are probably wondering what to do with them for the summer.

Parents often fear the summer more than any other period of the year. They know that, far from resting and lounging around the house or hanging out with friends, modern summer holidays for teenagers mean endless time on their phone.

Sleep takes the biggest hit as time becomes disjointed. Late-night scrolling and waking up after midday become the norm.

This disruption to healthy sleeping practices causes problems in late August, when reality comes crashing in and they have to go back to getting up early for school.

Summer holidays are a special time. I still think back to my own summer holidays: Those days of bounty, summer jobs, girlfriends, and evenings stretching out like a patient freed from ether.

Parents feel they might be like the Buckets getting their little Charlie to work all hours and ruin their time off from school.

But if you are worried that your teenager will not be active and just be on their device, I would suggest thinking about getting them a job.

I’m not talking about chimney sweeping, but getting involved in their local GAA club helping out, or down in the local shop stocking shelves.

Something that they can do while also having time to meet friends and enjoy the break from rigid school life.

We have memory for a very good reason: It helps us to remember what threats are out there, make sense of who we are today, and predict who we will be tomorrow.

Now, if we do not have memories of dealing with difficult people, having responsibilities that we met, if we don’t challenge ourselves and see what we are a capable of, when we think about the future it can be a very scary place.

Anxiety is the fear of an unknown future event.

The antidote to that is having memories of having dealt with things. You do not get those memories by playing games upstairs, lying in bed all day, scrolling on phones, or staying up all night.

That behaviour creates the opposite effect. Children often shrink their lives: They stay in their room and that’s about all they are comfortable with.

That is not a child thriving, but a child that is fearful that they don’t have the skills to meet an unknown future event.

When this happens, a child develops a low sense of self. They become fearful that they are unable to meet whatever is out there, and so they stay in their room.

This becomes a positive feedback loop: The thing they use to manage their fear is the thing that is creating their fear.

Nothing can be as terrifying as getting caught in a loop like this. You feel trapped, unable to get out of it.

We have to give them memories of being competent and useful, being valued by their community, and having something valuable to offer.

Now, that is the root of real resilience. That is the cure to a destructive feedback loop enveloping your child and depleting their sense of self.

Summer jobs also give them an understanding of money.

They learn the value of it. How many of us are asked for money constantly by our children?

We try to explain the value, but we know they have zero interest in what we are saying. ‘Just hand over the money’, is the type of vibe you receive.

But nothing shows a child the value of money more than going out and working.

That first pay-packet! My God, I still remember it. Opening that brown envelope, careful not to tear the head off James Joyce inside.

It was joyous. I felt proud. I had a value and I could earn money with it. We need our children to experience this, so that they understand it is difficult to earn money, and value it more when they earn it.

When you don’t value something, you don’t enjoy it. So teaching our children the value of money is an important part of their movement into adulthood. And for their future happiness.

Working broadens your perspective on life. It introduces you to all the kinds of people out there. Some of the public can be tricky.

I still remember some of the difficult people I had to manage in my job down in Douglas Books.

I still even remember a beautiful girl who came into the shop one day, looking for a book.

Well, she said it was a book, but I think it might have been your humble narrator she was after. We currently have three beautiful daughters together.

So, the old summer job can bring more into your life than you could have ever dreamed of.

Getting your teenager out and working a job this summer might just be the tonic that the whole family needs.