Ask Audrey: My mother is refusing to talk to me because I brought her to Passage West for lunch

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

I married beneath me Audrey and I’m starting to think it was a mistake. I met Niall in Dubai five years ago, you know the way it is with Cork people, we’d find each other in an avalanche. At first, we celebrated our differences. We’d tune into RTE sports news to stay in touch I’d mock him for getting teary eyed every time Turners Cross was mentioned, he’d tickle me if I asked him to shut up during the hockey scores, it nearly always led to sex. I even over-looked his aunt Rosie at our wedding in Hayfield Manor, getting everyone to sing A Nation Once Again while my uncle Fr Gerald was trying to say grace before meals. But it’s getting to the point now where I’m nervous about introducing him to people in the yacht club. You can take the man out of Chríost Rí, but you’ll never get Chríost Rí out of the man. We were talking to a lovely couple on holidays in the Seychelles, English, didn’t he give them a lecture on the history of Nemo Rangers. And I start to get really irritated now when he refers to his mother as Mam, I think he’s doing it deliberately Audrey. Is there counselling for people who married beneath them? 
- Elle, Dubai and Well Road.

My cousin is a relationship counsellor, she specialises in couples who hate each other. (AKA Married.) I said, is there any upside to marrying beneath your station? She said, Peasant Sex, it’s a fetish for people who like having it off with someone below them in the social order. I said, that’s me! She said, hardly Audrey, you’re only from Ballinlough. # BottomOfTheBarrel .