Why modern mothers face relentless pressure to optimise everything

Modern mothers have more information than ever before, but sleep practitioner Lucy Wolfe's research suggests they also face more judgment, more doubt and more guilt than previous generations, writes Gemma Fullam. Through interviews with 11 new mothers and their own mothers, she set out to discover why

Lucy Wolfe Headshot 2026

These days, there’s no escaping optimisation culture and its judgy influence. Apps, tech, and social media constantly feed us information, advice, tips, hacks, and hot takes on how to exercise better, eat better, sleep better, do life better.

Once you hop on the betterment bus, just one sub-par sleep score or not hitting your step count on a particular day can make you feel a little like you’re failing at life; and ‘betterment burnout’ — mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion caused by the relentless pursuit of self-improvement — is a real possibility.