First Dates' Mateo Saina: Here are the questions you need to ask on a first date — and why

First Dates maître d’ Mateo Saina knows a lot about first encounters. He tells Ruth O’Connor his top ice breakers to get the conversation started

First Dates Maitre'd Mateo Saina shares his top tips for lasting love this Valentine's Day

Multiple outfit changes, sweaty palms, butterflies in the stomach – we’ve all experienced the pre-date jitters, especially when it comes to a sit-down dinner-style first date. 

But while we can’t all have First Dates Ireland Maître d’ Mateo Saina on-hand to settle our nerves and tell us we look beautiful ahead of a first date (unfortunately), he can offer us some insight into how best to approach a first encounter. 

There’s nothing worse than being stuck for words and reaching for the phone at the dinner table, so with Valentine’s Day coming up, we asked Saina what he believes are the best questions to ask on a first date – and why.

“What are your passions and hobbies?”

“This question helps you to understand your date’s interests and provides a positive topic for conversation,” he says.

When it comes to his own life, it might surprise people to know that his own passions include online trading, chart analysis, and music.

“I grew up listening to dance music from the age of 14 and was lucky enough to have a friend who organised some of the coolest parties in Croatia.

“It was on my doorstep — a paradise where you could party in the open air all summer, in the peak of the Renaissance era or the Golden Age of dance music.

“It’s almost impossible to find clubs that play this kind of music now, so I’m very lucky that I experienced that and have seen the biggest DJs in the world.”

“Tell me about your favourite travel experience.”

Saina says that this allows you to learn about your date’s travel adventures and can reveal a lot about their personality and sense of adventure.

“This allows you to see what they’re into. It depends on what you’re looking for — do they stick to the comfort zone of the city, are they adventurous, do they like the spirituality of the mountains…?”

Pic: iStock

“What’s your favourite type of music or favourite band?”

“Musical preferences can be a fun way to connect and discover shared interests,” Mateo says, believing that it is great if you have a common taste in music — but potentially more interesting if you don’t.

“On a first date, you are looking to paint a picture of who is in front of you,” he says.

“You don’t have to have the same desires — the thing is whether you’re compatible planning-wise and sex-wise — the rest you can figure out.

“The Italians have a great expression: ‘Il mondo è bello perché è vario’. It means: ‘The world is beautiful because of difference.’ If you don’t like the same thing as me, so what? It doesn’t mean I’m better than you, it just means I’m different.”

“Do you have any favourite books or authors?”

Saina believes that this question helps to open the door to discussions about personal values, interests, and literary tastes, though he confesses that he himself is not a great reader and that he was a “total messer” in school.

“I’m currently forcing myself to read a book about trading strategy. I’m into books that I can learn something from. I would rather listen to an audiobook than read a physical book and don’t even get me started on podcasts...” he says.

“When I was getting into online trading, I would listen to podcasts four or five hours a day. I kept up this momentum fanatically for three years. When I get into something, I go into the rabbit hole, I give 300% to everything I do.

“I love mathematics, probability, and all of that stuff. I only realised this when I got into playing poker. I don’t read for the soul, I read for knowledge.”

“What do you enjoy doing in your free time?”

“Understanding your date’s leisure activities provides insights into their lifestyle and priorities.

“If he does X, he is adventurous etc. But these things can change, nothing is set in stone,” he says.

Does that explain why some of the older couples on the show often concentrate more on talk of past experiences than on their current interests?

“Listen, after the age of 40, you become vulnerable. Until you’re 40, you think you are invincible. Then there is a mind shift. After 40, you realise that you are destructible like everybody else.”

Pic: iStock

“Tell me about your career and what you enjoy about it?”

“This question shows you’re genuinely interested in their life, plus it reveals their professional ambitions and values,” Mateo says, believing that money certainly makes life much easier — as well as health.

“I grew up with a father who was disabled. I have this always in the back of my mind. My father went through hell and back with his health.

“He was born with half a hand and then contracted polio as a child,” he says. “Despite this, he is the most positive and charming man you could come across — how people see you is how you perceive yourself. He is 70-years-old and still going strong. He built with one hand more than I will in three lifetimes.

“He is a very well-respected artist who has run a gallery for more than 30 years.

“My parents have a magical relationship. They have had extremely hard times, but the way they passed through the rough season into the harbour was very impressive to watch.”

“What’s something you’re proud of accomplishing recently?”

“This question allows your date to share their achievements and gives you insight into their values and work ethic,” Mateo adds. And what is he proud of?

“I’m proud of my children. I’m proud of being on TV for 10 years without any major scandal,” he laughs.

“For me, it’s enough that I came from a little village to the big city and have been a general manager in the restaurant industry for over a decade. The thing is though, that once you reach your goal you always want more — it’s never enough. It is a skill to say that you are happy with what you’ve done.

“Being eternally unhappy can make you sick, so learn to be happy with what you’ve achieved.”