Louise McSharry: ‘After my ADHD diagnosis, I’m learning to tell myself I’m not crap at life'
Louise McSharry: 'I can often relate to the sanctity of what my guests share with me'
My Saturdays often start early because the kids are up. My husband and I take turns getting up with them on the weekend, so sometimes I have a bit of a lie-in. We like to have some cosy TV time in our pyjamas, and then have breakfast together. I would consider myself a reasonable cook, but my husband is a really great chef, so often I’ll leave him to it.
My older son, Sam usually has a football match on a Saturday morning, which is great for getting us all up and out. People often ask me if I can switch off at the weekends, to be honest, I find it much easier than on the weekdays because it’s such a busy time with the kids. Of course I probably spend more time on my phone in front of them than I should, but that’s the reality, isn’t it?
On the plus side, my work is extremely flexible which means I can show up to things that other parents might not be able to. I do enjoy working for myself, mainly because I like being in charge of my own career path. Saying that, I do sometimes wonder what it might be like to work somewhere like a flower shop, for example, where you might get to leave work behind [you] at the end of the day...
If we are feeling particularly special after the football match, I’ll bring the kids to Two Boys Brew in Phibsboro. The boys call it the ‘halloumi sticks restaurant’. It’s far from halloumi sticks I was raised, let me tell you!
We usually pop home either to eat if we haven’t eaten out, or to regroup before whatever is on in the afternoon. Routine is increasingly important to me, and I’ve started putting structures in place to help things run smoothly, especially since I was diagnosed with ADHD a year ago. Like many people diagnosed later in life, I realised I’d already created coping mechanisms throughout my day without even knowing it.
I’m still processing the diagnosis, and haven’t yet figured out my medication route. I’m just focusing on being compassionate towards myself. I’m learning to tell myself that I’m not just crap at life, it’s that my brain operates differently. I am certainly more conscious now of having structures in place that help the entire family, like encouraging my son to get his own bag ready at night. That way, we all benefit.
We do lots of different things on the weekends, but one thing that’s consistent is that we always have to get out with the kids. They need to be walked like dogs, to the point that even after we do all our activities, they are asking what’s next! I enjoy hanging out with friends, visiting family or heading to the playground to run the legs off them. We live near the Botanic Gardens, so we go there fairly regularly. Sometimes we’d get out to Howth for the day or to Dún Laoghaire pier and get chips afterwards. We have also started family cycles, but not too far as the kids are still small. We usually end up at nearby Bang Bang coffee shop for a treat.
We like to have some cosy time before dinner where we all can relax and do our own thing. I am reading by Alasdair Gray at the moment which I’m loving. Podcast-wise, my favourite is . They are friends of mine, but even if they weren’t I’d love it. As well as my weekly podcast, , I’m on the road with my podcast series.
I think because I’ve written and talked widely about my own experiences, I can relate to the sanctity of what my guests share with me. For a long time, I was very open about my life. Now I’m a lot more considered about what I choose to share. Perhaps it’s because I need the validation less. I try to think carefully about who benefits from hearing my story. It can be very powerful when someone hears your specific experience and doesn’t feel so alone.
We are watching the new series on the BBC with the kids. It’s been good fun introducing them to it and I have a feeling it’s going to be a regular Saturday night date in our house for the foreseeable. We also play Uno and we might do a jigsaw. When the kids are settled in bed, my husband and I try to stay awake to watch a movie.
These days when I’m falling asleep, my mind will inevitably veer towards preparations for my live podcast event. The live shows come with a different type of apprehension because people are taking time out of their lives to come and see it. So far, the feedback has been great.
My guest at the Everyman in Cork is 78-year-old Ailbhe Smyth who is an iconic feminist, socialist, LGBT + activist and one of the best people I’ve ever met. It’s a huge celebration of the female experience, which, I find more and more really is what drives me to do what I do.
- In Conversation with Louise McSharry is on in The Everyman, Cork on Thursday, February 1 at 8pm. Tickets, €24, available from everymancork.com
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