International Stammering Awareness Day: 'I let my stammer control my life - now it's my calling card'

October 22 is International Stammering Awareness Day. Despite struggling with their stammers growing up, comedian Aidan Greene and blogger Bevin Murphy are choosing to embrace it.

Comedian Aidan Greene; and mother-and-daughter team Veronica Lynch & Bevin Murphy

Aidan Greene is somewhat unique in his profession. A comedian for over thirteen years, the Cavan native is (we think) the only stand-up on the circuit with a stammer. 

While for most people this characteristic of his is seen as an impediment, Aidan makes a virtue of it. To mark International Stammerer’s Day, he will celebrate his stammer in his one-man show, I Can't Believe It’s Not Stutter.

“I had wanted to do acting in college,” says the 34-year-old. “But I let my stammer control my life when I was a teenager and I ended up in computing. One day in college, I was chatting to a friend and he said that he’d like to try stand-up. I said I would too and he responded by dismissing me and saying that he really could be one.” 

The inference that Aidan couldn’t do comedy because of his stammer spurred him into action. His first gig took place at Dublin's Twisted Pepper in 2010 and not only did Aidan not try to hide his stammer, he used it as his calling card and inspiration. 

Since then he has performed at festivals, comedy clubs and venues across the globe including the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and most recently Vicar Street.

Aidan Greene, on stage at Whelan's in Dublin.

As a child, Aidan says he was “hugely confident”. He played lead roles in school plays and says that he always “felt comfortable on stage”.

“Until I was about twelve or thirteen my stammer was fairly innocuous,” he says. “Then I remember one day picking up the phone to say hello and I got completely stuck. From there I would get these complete blocks on certain words and that happened up until I was around twenty.” 

“I was told that I was going to stammer for the rest of my life and there were no examples of successful people who had stammers. Sure, some people had stammers and overcame them but I was never going to overcome mine and I couldn’t see a pathway in my life with the stammer where there was anything like success or me feeling comfortable with it.” 

After a conversation with a friend with a tendency for “tough love”, Aidan began to realise not only could he live with his stammer but he could turn it to his advantage.

“The first time I went on stage and I told the audience I had a stammer, I turned it into my first joke,” he says. “I knew nobody watching the show had ever seen someone with a stammer do stand-up. So it’s a unique perspective. I spent years trying to hide it and now I’m telling a room full of strangers I have one and that it will be OK for all of us and we can all have a laugh about it.” 

For most of us, the idea of getting up on stage would be daunting but for Aidan, other, apparently simple, situations such as making a phone call or calling out his name in Starbucks is a nightmare.

“Stand-up doesn’t give me confidence,” he says. “Stand-up is a symptom of the confidence I have always had in myself. You could tell me to get up on stage in the 3 Arena and I wouldn't blink, but if you asked me to make a fifteen-minute phone call to someone I don’t know that would cause me a lot more stress.” 

"UNWINDING THE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS"

Aidan is one of an estimated fifty-thousand people with a stammer in Ireland. The Irish Stammering Association says that stuttering affects people of all ages and in very different ways. 

While some are prone to repetition, others are susceptible to prolongations or blocking. 

Research into stammering is ongoing across the world, but the cause of it is not really known. Often it is due to a combination of different factors with environment, emotion, psychology and family history all thought to play a part.

“One of the misconceptions about stammering is that people who stammer do it all the time,” says 65-year-old Veronica Lynch. 

“That’s not the case at all. For me, going into places where I have to ask for something specific because I can’t change those words. That can be difficult. Going into a bank or places of authority can be tricky; places where you feel you need to be as clear and articulate as possible and if you’re not, you’re at a disadvantage. Some people who stammer, won’t stammer around their friends because they’re comfortable but for others, they stammer loads around their friends because they know they won’t judge them. It’s such an individual thing.” 

Veronica has stammered since the age of three. At the time, the family GP suggested the best way of dealing with it was to ignore it in the hope that it would disappear. 

Of course, ignoring the stammer meant ignoring Veronica. Sensing the stigma around her characteristic, she began to ignore society herself. 

She would refuse to read in class, change words to avoid tripping up and in the main she would avoid talking as much as possible.

Mother and daughter team Veronica Lynch and Bevin Murphy.

“I would have probably continued that way for most of my adult life,” says Veronica. “What changed things for me was when my youngest daughter, Bevin, came along and started to stammer from about the same age as me.” 

Suddenly Veronica had to face her own demons and attitudes to this lifelong trait.

“I didn’t want her growing up hiding it and the stigma of it,” says Veronica. 

“I was very open with her about her stammering and I thought if I’m expecting a child to be open and not care about it I needed to do the same. I decided I’d begin working on unwinding all the negative thoughts and feelings I had about stammering.” 

BECOMING FRIENDS WITH IT

It seems to have stood to both of them. In 2021, Bevin started her own blog and Instagram page called My Stutter and I.

“It’s a place where I get to share my story,” says the 25-year-old. “I have really enjoyed being immersed in the stammering community through it. I guess if I can't run away from my stammer, the other option is to walk hand and hand with it.

“Being a child who stammered was odd,” says Bevin, “because I still had the innocence of being a child and the freedom of speech that kids so often have but I was also aware of the looks I would get from people and this would make me feel ashamed of my own voice.”

Bevin Murphy: "I still get nervous when I speak but I am also proud of the fact that I stammer and I'd be damned if I let it control my life."

Though she was never bullied, Bevin found school “rough”. The first few weeks and months of college were also quite challenging but then she says she had something of an epiphany.

“I just said 'screw this' and decided that life is so much more than my stammer,” she explains. 

“My stammer is a part of me and it is not going anywhere. I found it was better to become friends with it and to accept it as a part of me. I have learned that I don't care about being fluent. I care about being okay with being a person who stammers. I still get nervous when I speak but I am also proud of the fact that I stammer and I'd be damned if I let it control my life.

"I’ve made peace with my stammer,” says Veronica. “It’s part of me. Sometimes I stammer, sometimes I don’t. What’s changed for me over the years is that I don’t react in the same way to my stammer. I’m not bothered fighting with it anymore. That’s another misconception about people who stammer; they want to be fluent. That isn’t the prize. I want to be comfortable with my stammer. That is my prize.

“Stammering doesn't have to be a life sentence. There is lots of support out there. The Irish Stammering Association, there are peer support groups and I think meeting other people who stammer is a huge part of becoming at ease with your own stammer.” 

• For more information on support groups and help, please contact the Irish Stammering Association at https://www.stammeringireland.ie/
•  ‘I Can't Believe It's Not Stutter!’ is on Sunday October 22, International Stammering Awareness Day, in The Workman's Club. Tickets at http://aidangreenecomedy.com/
• Bevin's page is https://www.instagram.com/mystutterandi/