Consumer Corner: Should I put money in a debs or grads card?

Pic: iStock

There was a time, not so long ago (says the 40-year-old) that debs and grads parties were low-key, mostly just photo ops.

Family and friends would gather in the house for some pictures with the couple before Dad dropped them off to Jury’s Hotel for the big event. At a push, there may have been a sandwich at the house beforehand and you could have certainly expected a cup of tea and a plate of biscuits.

Fast forward to ‘these days’ and a debs and grads party is now battling with Communion parties as high-octane affairs. The rush for a bouncy castle is replaced with the rush for booking a limo. You couldn’t be turning up in your mam’s Toyota Corolla. There’s hair, make-up, tan, nails, dress, accessories and then there’s the pre-party before the drinks party which is before the main event. They’ll be so exhausted they will never make it to Leisureplex the morning after.

This is all very well but what happens when the text comes that your friend down the road or your niece is off to their debs and you get invited to ‘see them off’? 

For many an invite to a pre-debs or grads party will sound casual but there’s nothing like a casual invite to put the fear into you and the thoughts start swirling about — what do I bring? Do I bring something for the host or the niece? Do I give a card or bring food or wine?

For the most part and according to the experts (those who have gone before) the advice is to tone down your gift-giving for an occasion like this. The person celebrating will often be just happy to stand in for pictures and the host will have everything sorted.

A nice gesture is handing a card to the person off to their debs or grads with ‘the price of a drink’ type mentality. Chatter on the website, Askaboutmoney.com, is that the ‘going rate’ is €20 in a card however some pointed out that it also depends on how long you’re planning to stay. If you are dropping in for a ‘quick gawk’ then the ‘hands hanging’ approach is acceptable but if you are staying for a glass of wine and a chicken goujon afterwards then money in a card is a nice gesture.

Mark Coan, of moneysherpa.ie, says that when it comes to throwing a few quid in the direction of a teen who has just passed one of life’s milestones then the old adage ‘it’s the thought that counts’ definitely applies.

“For neighbours and friends, the fact that you are acknowledging the milestone with a card is often enough, so anything around the €10 to €20 mark is fine. When it’s family though you may want to also help support the recipient a little and if you can, you may want to give a little more given recent cost rises.”

Of course, we wouldn’t be Consumer Corner if we didn’t offer some bit of sensible advice as to what to do with the bundles of cash you make on debs and grads night and ever after the results are out.

Kevin Johnson, CEO of the Credit Union Development Association, says gifting money to celebrate milestones such as finishing the Leaving Cert, graduating from school, embarking on a new job journey, or heading into college can also provide invaluable lessons in financial responsibility.

“Graduating from secondary school or college marks the start of independence for many young adults and it is imperative that they have the tools necessary for their financial wellbeing. Saving money received from friends and family early on is often the first lesson in promoting good money habits.”

He says that encouraging young people to create a budget, save a portion of their gift, or invest wisely, can lay the foundation for a secure financial future.

He added that saving can actively teach the importance of saving up for something that is meaningful rather than squandering every euro that comes in an envelope.

“For those heading off to college, writing down a detailed list of all income and expenditures and using this as a base for setting a college budget is an excellent way of illustrating the importance of budgeting and making clever financial decisions. Identifying areas where unnecessary expenses can be cut back and allocating funds to more important areas, such as college textbooks, accommodation, or transport, teaches financial prudency and the importance of financial planning for the future.

“Celebrating the achievements in our loved ones’ lives with financial gifts not only acknowledges their accomplishments but also equips them with the tools they need to succeed in the future.”

One word of warning however from Mr Johnson is around credit cards and the dangers of putting them in young hands. He said that young people who do not know how to use them can find themselves in mounting debt.

“Educating young people on the dangers of using a credit card is vital.”