How to cope with the loss of a pet and why it is important to mark their death

Losing a pet can bring its own particular type of grief. Here's why you should not feel ashamed about mourning the death of a pet

President Michael D. Higgins and his wife Sabina are sad to confirm that Bród, one of their two Bernese mountain dogs, passed away at the weekend.

The sad news that President Michael D Higgins’ well-known dog Bród passed away at the weekend was met with much grief.

The news has shone a light on the grief many feel at the passing of a much-loved pet.

The Irish Hospice Foundation recommends you mourn the loss of a pet as you see fit, despite what others might think.

“It is normal to feel grief when you lose a pet but sometimes family and friends do not fully understand and you may not be given the support people usually have when a person close to them dies.

“You might even be seen as odd or crazy for expressing grief for an animal companion. This reaction can add to the pain and trying to hide your emotions and get on with normal life may be difficult.

“Accept that the pain of this grief is normal and allow yourself time to feel sadness, anger, guilt or whatever it is you need to feel,” they suggest.

“Try to share your emotions with someone who will understand – a friend, family member, other pet owners or veterinary staff.” 

Brod, a Bernese mountain dog belonging to President of Ireland, Michael D. Higgins, charmed world leaders among the scores of visitors over his decade living at Aras An Uachtarain in Dublin. Picture: Liam McBurney/PA Wire

One way to process your grief is to officially mark the death of your pet.

“You may wish to bury your pet’s body or scatter their cremated remains in a special place. Having a ritual or ceremony at this time can be a helpful way to mark how much your pet has meant to you,” the Irish Hospice Foundation says, and notes it is important to take care of yourself during this difficult time.

“It is important to look after yourself when you are grieving. Try to take regular exercise and eat well-balanced meals. Rest is important and if your sleep is disturbed try winding down with a warm, milky drink or soothing music.

“Set up new routines to replace those you had with your pet e.g. change the time and location of walks. Avoid making any big decisions and seek the company of supportive family and friends.” 

Some people choose to welcome a new pet quite soon after the loss of a pet, while others prefer to wait. The Irish Hospice Foundation says you should trust your own feelings in this matter and do whatever feels right.

“It is up to each person or family to decide whether or not to get another pet. Some people choose to do this immediately, while others need time before they can make room in their hearts for a new relationship.” 

If your mourning affects your sleep, eating habits and general wellbeing, they recommend seeking professional counselling for guidance and help.