Ask Audrey: It's no joke being in the 1% in Ballintemple

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

Hello it’s Rosealeen here in Ballydesmond. There isn’t a man to be seen for 30 miles around, they’re all gone off to Cheltenham in their foolish-looking caps. What kind of gowls are we, complaining about the Brits with their Irish jokes, and then heading over there on Paddy’s Weekend looking like a shower of extras from the Banshees of that fecking island. 

Anyway, the temporary lack of fresh meat locally has caused me to evaluate my desires and I suppose there is no point in running away from the fact that I am mad for the old sex. I told Berna and she gave me one of her ‘is it only now you’ve realised’ looks, followed by the news that she read an article in the Examiner about these new audio erotica apps, where you listen to this one with a soothing voice telling you a filthy story.