Listen — Ask Audrey: There's a better class of lobbing the gob at the Six Nations than at the GAA

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

Hello, it’s Rosealeen here from Ballydesmond. Myself and Berna always go to the Six Nations rugby matches, you get a better class of lobbing the gob than you would at the GAA, where it isn’t unusual to come across a lad with webbed feet. Our modus operandi — look it up — is to travel for the away matches, but we don’t bother going to the match itself because you’d need a brain the size of a small planet to understand the rules of rugby. So we just force ourselves into a pub in our greenery, belt out Ireland’s Call and wait for the local lads to fall at our feet. Well didn’t I meet a lad this time from Wales, don’t ask me how to spell his name, it has seven Ls in a row. And God between us an all harm, but I’m after falling hard for your man and I’ve even moved into his place in Swansea. (It’s Cork with less flooding.) The problem is that his accent makes me giggle, he sounds like a Scartaglin man after a feed of pints. He told me my accent is ridiculous as well, I reared up at him for that because it isn’t like I’m from Boherbue. We’ll never be able to take each other seriously if this carries on. How the Jesus can I get myself a Welsh accent?

— Rosealeen, the outskirts of Swansea