Rebecca Grimes: 'My life can be frustrating, challenging, soul-destroying, but never boring'

Fair City actor Rebecca Grimes at RTÉ's new season launch in 2021.

I grew up in the countryside in north county Dublin. It was very rural, very remote. One of my earliest pastimes was — I used to sit at the bottom of our driveway — I’d drag a little plastic chair down — and my notebook. Me and my best friend would write down the car regs for entertainment. I tell people that and they’re like; ‘Wow, were you like pretending that you were in surveillance? Or a detective game?’ No, no, we literally just wrote them down. And it was so quiet where we lived, you could hear a car coming like from miles away.

I’ve one sister and two brothers. I’m the youngest of four. There’s five years between us all so there’s quite a big gap between us. My oldest friend is the same age as me and we grew up together so we would have been more like sisters.

My earliest memory is of being in Los Angeles visiting my aunt. She passed away a couple of years ago but she lived in America for all of my life. We went to visit her one year — I must have been three or four. I remember putting on a show, singing a song and doing a little dance. I can remember the smell of her sun cream and the smell of the pool in her apartment complex.

I’ve been very lucky and I’ve had privileges afforded to me just by living in this country. If I was born somewhere else and grew up in a different culture, who knows what would have been?

My greatest challenge continues to be accepting that there are some things I will never be able to do anything about. I like being proactive and getting things sorted out so when I have to sit with uncomfortable situations, I find that tricky. I’m trying to learn how to be ok with the tricky though.

My proudest achievement was my play, Mavericks, that I wrote with my friend David Farrell. It took us five years to finish it and get the thing put on, but it was such an amazing team of people and I felt really proud thatanybody wanted to work on something I had made. I’m always willing to do what it takes and I have a really good work ethic.

I turn to different people for different things but the most constant stream of conversation is with my partner Paul.

The life lesson I’d like to pass on is that we’re really only here for a very short time and we only get one go at it. Life is happening as you’re waiting for it — it’s never going to be perfect. You have to really dive into life and enjoy it the most you possibly can. My mum always says to me that “this isn’t a rehearsal”. That always stuck with me, because it’s theatre oriented as well.

I would like to be remembered as somebody who was fun to be around — somebody that treated everybody with respect and dignity and somebody that you could talk to.

I don’t know that I’d change anything about my past. You know, everything gets you to where you are now and I’m in a place where I really like my life. I’ve learned great lessons, and I’m still learning. I think I’m grateful for everything in the past.

I’m becoming much more conscious of the way I’ve been living. I don’t know if it’s climate guilt but I often think, ‘am I doing enough? Can I be doing more?’ And I think just as I’m getting older and starting to kind of see the realities of climate change and the impact that like small actions have so being mindful of your own footprint. The things that used to really appeal to me like going into Penneys for a big haul are gone. It just feels so excessive and unnecessary now. The way I shop I’m much more into kind of shopping vintage or I’m obsessed with Depop.

My greatest skill is picking myself up and dusting myself off. In the acting world, obviously you face rejection constantly. I’ve tried millions of other things, you know, lots of other different endeavors that haven’t worked out for me. And I think I do have some indomitable ability to just go move the goalposts. I don’t know whether it’s foolhardiness but I find myself just kind of like picking off, reframing, and chasing the next thing.

I am surprised by how your 30s catch up with you. I never thought I’d be interested in staying at home and missing a party but these days if it comes between me and my sleep, it’s gotta go. I wonder if it’s a phase, or am I finally growing up?

I’m not done taking forks in the road. There will always options and sliding doors. And I kind of want to try them all out. I get excited about realizing the potential of things.

It’s funny when I tell people like that I’m an actor — they say my life must never be boring. It can be a million things. It can be frustrating and it can be challenging, and it can be soul-destroying at times, but it’s never boring.

• Rebecca Grimes plays Hayley Collins on Fair City.