Gearóid Farrelly: I was told bullying would 'make a man' of me 

'Stand up seemed like such a stupid way to make a living'

Gearoid Farrelly

I was born in Artane. I lived there for four or five years and then we moved to Cederwood in Glasnevin. I am the eldest of four sisters and two brothers. Our house was always the most chaotic of all my friends. It was a very happy house, it was always very loud. There was always toys all over the place.

My mam has a real wit, a real way. When she makes a joke, it’s a really good joke. I remember years ago, Mary Robinson was presenting an award at the Sports award. And my mom was sitting down knitting and Mary Robinson started her speech by saying, ‘I’m here tonight for three reasons’ and my mam immediately said ‘because she got a lift, she’s getting paid and there’s a drink afterwards.’ I always remember that joke, and looking back now I’m like, wow, that’s a real crafted bit! So, I think it was in the blood, but I wasn’t a comedian in school. I was very much the quiet one.

After college when I started work, a lot of people said I was very funny and told me I should do stand-up, but I thought no, that’s not what I want to do at all, I want to be an actor. To me, stand up, it seemed like such a stupid way to make a living.

I fell into it because I was rewriting pantos, and I found out about the open mic circuit. I started to do these little characters I was writing for the pantos and it just took off. So, I did a gig as myself, not as a character and I guess at the time, I was different. There was no other gay person on the circuit. That sounds really arrogant, but I just never met them. So, I got booked a lot.

I wasn’t pursuing a career itn stand-up, it was more like, I would do a gig and then somebody at the gig would say, do you want to do this? My day job was working in IT as a developer and I would do comedy shows and theater at night. All of a sudden, I was asked to do Edinburgh Fringe, and then an agent came knocking... stand-up was very much my little dark secret. It was almost like an affair.

The greatest challenge I’ve faced in my life was bullying as a child. It was a really long time ago and I’ve processed it now but... it was very challenging. At that time, there was nobody going into schools talking about bullying, it was very much, ‘you’re being bullied? tough.’ The line I got so often from teachers and the principal was ‘it’ll make a man of you.’

I made a decision in my 20s, I think a sensible one, that I was closing the door on it. I don’t like to look back. But you do feel the hangover. Whenever I hear about kids having a hard time, I get a chill up my back. When you’re a kid, you’re a sponge. You’re forming your emotional DNA, and when stuff like that happens... that becomes part of it. 

No matter what you do with the rest of your life, there’s always a bit of you that is that person.

If I could change something from my past, I would grab opportunities more. I’ve never been good at banging my own drum. There are times I could have shouted more.

My proudest achievement? Teaching my cat to use the toilet. And, I am proud of making a living in the arts in Ireland.

Gearóid Farrelly and his cat Boots

The greatest advice I have ever been given was from my Granny: ‘don’t make money your god.’ I definitely think if money was my god I wouldn’t be doing comedy...

What surprises me the most in life is how entitled and aggressive some people are. I am always surprised by how up for a fight some people are. People are very unwilling to pick their battles. I see it all the time in hotels. Like, really? This is the hill you want to die on?

The way I would like to be remembered? As a nice person. I try to be actively nice to people. It fascinates me when people want to be remembered for their work. Why would you want to be remembered for your job? It’s so weird.

What scares me most in life is death and ill health. As you get older that starts to come in to your life more. I lost one of my mates four years ago to cancer. She lived in the apartment opposite me, and we were buddies from day one. We had seven/eight years of that and then all of a sudden, she got ill and died. She was just... gone and I was left watering her plants.

My greatest quality is not dismissing my ideas. I think comedy teaches you to do that. And it’s the best advice I can give to up and coming comics. Any idea you have, just write it down. There will be something in it.

• Gearóid Farrelly is currently on a nationwide tour with Glamour Hammer including a date in De Barra’s Clonakilty on October 20. See gearoidfarrelly.com for dates and ticket information.