Ask Audrey: 'The only mention of Jesus Christ is when someone gets catapulted out the bouncy castle after prosecco'

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

It’s getting desperate on our WhatsApp group, Douglas Road Stunners Who Fly Out of Dublin to Avoid Queueing with Norries. Fifi_FrequentFlyer said she’s actually thinking of risking Cork Airport this summer because she heard that queues are totes long in Dublin and her sister ended up chatting to someone from Laois FOR 4 HOURS. We were in total shock - the only time we’d talk to someone from the midlands is when we ring a call centre and even then it’s impossible to know what they’re saying half the time. 

Jolene_Caribbean said she got talking to this guy from Donegal in her queue and even though the accent was a turn on at the start, he had aged considerably by the time they got to security and started reminding her of Daniel O’Donnell. Phoebe_VolvoXC90 got stuck with this guy from Stillorgan acting like Elon Musk because his semi-d was valued at over a million, which would barely pay for a night out in Dublin. I’m torn now because I’m planning a fortnight in Sardinia with the kids and I’d hate to think of them swapping Minecraft tips for three hours in Dublin airport with a family of freckly tykes from Tyrone. I’m actually starting to think we’d be better off in Cork airport, Norries and all. What do you reckon?