Bernard O'Shea: I used to have synthetic grass, now I'm trying No Mow May on my real lawn

The aroma of freshly cut grass clicks all the buttons on in my brain that are labelled "school holidays", "beer gardens", and "GAA"

Bernard O'Shea tries No Mow May

As I write, I hear the noise. The droning murmur of Husqvarna’s and Hondas. I picture thousands of people happily pushing or sitting on sharp motorized blades, cutting back their lawns to perfection. Some delighted in their passion for maintaining golf-like greens to the front and rear of their abodes. Others just got another weekly chore out of the way.

My lawn, however, has gone wild. It's entirely covered with dandelions or, as we called them, growing up "pissy beds." There is some etymological truth to the plant's nickname. Dandelions are an effective diuretic, and dandelion tea has been known in some cases to increase urine output. However, I wasn't aware of this when I was seven years old, shouting at my sister, "You're going to piss the bed tonight because you touched loads of them."