Ask Audrey: Say what you will about Ballydesmond, but we were well-stocked with pervert farmers

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

Hello, it’s Rosealeen here in Ballydesmond. My dating life is after getting a bit of kink in it so didn’t I ring Berna last night and ask her for a loan of her cat o’ nine tails. 

Well, didn’t he answer the phone with nam-ass-day. I said, sorry I think I might have a wrong number and she said, hello Rosealeen it’s me alright and I said why are you speaking in tongues with your nam-ass-day and she said it’s not tongues you clown, it’s namaste, the thing you say at the start of yoga class to make it look like you know what you’re doing.