My friend Straight-Talking Sandra owns a chain of hair-stylists around Cork. I rang her there and asked, what would you say to a woman from Ballydesmond? She said, sorry we’re closed – you’d never get rid of the smell, Audrey.
No thanks. Every time we bring sexy workmen into our place, it ends up costing me a fortune in marriage counselling. #CaughtRotten
My posh nephew pretends to like indie films to attract French women. I explained your situation and he said, I feel really, really sorry for them. I said, why? He said, they can’t afford a place in West Cork.
Give her a new name - Old Doll will get you cancelled by the end of the year. Stick with the sexy lingerie though – I get a naughty thrill wearing my Valentines knickers on a night out with My Conor. Mainly because they didn’t come from him. #SexyBuildersAgain