'Only certain people are celebrated here': Tackling racism in LGBTQ+ community

Pradeep Mahadeshwar, a gay Indian living in Dublin says he feels rejected by the LGBTQ+ community here. Picture: Vanessa Ifediora

A Cork-based charity has launched a new campaign to raise awareness about the racism queer men of colour and Travellers experience from within the LGBTQ+ community.

The Gay Project, a Cork organisation that have advocated for LGBTQI+ rights since the 1970s have launched the #ProudAF campaign in response to the “sexual racism, racial profiling, objectification and fetishisation, cultural differences and discrimination perpetuated by white and settled LGBTQI+ people.” 

The organisers say the campaign is a “call to action” that asks the wider LGBTQI+ community to examine their own behaviours and change them in order to make the community a more accepting and inclusive place for everyone.

The campaign is funded and supported by the Department of Equality and Integration. Picture: Sasko Lazrov, Photocall Ireland

“There is a disconnect between the experiences of gay men of colour and gay Travellers and that of the wider population,” campaign director Michael O’Donnell said, “we started this campaign to highlight and address racism across the community.” 

As part of a campaign, a number of gay men of colour and Travellers are opening up about their experiences including community activist and art director Pradeep Mahadeshwar and TikTok star and mental health advocate Darren Collins.

‘The gay community in Ireland is not a welcome place for people of colour’ 

Pradeep Mahadeshwar, who grew up in Mumbai, came to Ireland with the perception that the Western world was “more adaptive, more open, and more inclusive.” 

“But my experience and reality as an immigrant and LGBTQ+ person is much different,” he said.

"The gay community in Ireland is not a welcome place for people of colour.

"There is a lot of racial segregation in the LGBTQ+ community,” he said, but people are too “ashamed” to address it.

As an Asian immigrant and a gay man, Pradeep said he faces prejudice from the Indian community due to his sexuality, and prejudice from the Irish community because he is an immigrant.

“I thought that the LGBTQ+ community would be helpful or friendly but they also reject me and people like me, because we are not attractive, we don't fit in their sexual fantasies.

“If I'm brown, if I have a different accent, I wear different clothes. That is not acceptable or welcome.

"After nine years in Ireland, I am still struggling to make friends, because there is some kind of unattractive thing about being friends with a gay Indian or Pakistani or a Bangladeshi. It is not as interesting as any other ethnicity because we see Indian, Pakistani people as IT professionals, or doctors or nurses. We don't see them as people.” 

"Whiteness is a currency with a high value, to make friends, to go on dates, to form relations, even just for random hookups.” 

“You don’t see Indian or Pakistani men as friends, dates, husbands or hookups of European men.” 

On many occasions, Pradeep claims he has been refused entry at prominent gay bars in Dublin because he “doesn’t look gay” or isn’t a “familiar face.” 

“Those places are passively saying that only certain people are celebrated here and welcome here.” 

A preference for a particular ‘race’ is often defended by some men on Grindr as merely a matter of preference. Graphic: Pradeep Mahadeshwar / Instagram: QueerMyths

Pradeep says there is also blatant racism disguised as "personal preferences" on dating apps such as Grindr, where men are known to state in their profiles "No Asians" or "Not into Black guys" etc. 

There is no discourse about what is happening to LGBTQ+ people of colour in Ireland within the gay community, he said, and the lack of support from within the community itself is having a devastating effect on people’s mental and sexual health.

“I have seen Asian men who become depressed, suicidal, get into substance abuse.

“We don't talk about these stories... we spend so much money on Pride and it's all glitter and rainbows and everything is fine - but everything is not fine.” 

While many LGBTQ+ groups talk about inclusion and diversity, Pradeep feels it is more of a “tick the box” exercise.

“There is a huge gap between talking about inclusion and diversity, and actually embracing, understanding and implementing inclusion and diversity.” 

“The people who hold the power [in these groups] don't actually know what it's like to be marginalized based off the colour of your skin, because most decision makers in these groups and organizations are not people of colour.” 

“Inclusion and diversity can only be implemented by handing over power and handing over decision making to marginalised people.” 

‘People think ‘I couldn't bring a traveller home’’

Darren Collins, a gay Traveller originally from Tullamore Co Offally, came out seven years ago.

In the years that followed, he has become a well-known name amongst the Travelling community, publicly speaking out about his experience of coming out and accepting himself as a gay Traveller man.

As part of the #ProudAF campaign, Darren is hoping to raise awareness of the challenges gay Travellers face within the LGBTQ+ space.

Darren Collins, a gay Traveller man said LGBTQ+ organisations need to reach out directly to Travellers.

“Being a gay Traveller in the settled community is very difficult because when you say you're a Traveller, people sort of stand back, and think, ‘I couldn't bring a Traveller home.’ 

"And when you say you're a gay Traveller, people also think of the barriers you've faced and think if they date you, they might have to face them too - that they could be beaten up, or their lives could be under threat.” 

The Travelling community has a lot of “trust issues” with other communities, he says, and they often feel they aren’t accepted, respected or welcomed in other groups. This is no different with the LGBTQ+ community.

“I don't really associate with many LGBTQ+ groups unless they reach out to me. I don't reach out to them.” 

His hesitation to get involved is for one main reason - will Travellers get the support they need from these organisations if they reach out?

“They want you when they need something from you, but when you need help - will they be there?” 

For Darren, the message he would like to send to LGBTQ+ organisations is to reach out directly to Travellers, rather than waiting for them to come to you.

“It's all about trust,” he says.

“With this campaign, I was accepted and I was welcomed with a lot of love, a lot of care, and a lot of respect.

“They recognized me as a great activist for my community.” 

Looking back on his journey to where he is now, Darren says coming out was a “very tough time” in his life but he compares his life before and after to that of a dove stuck in a cage now set free to fly.

“Seven years ago, I wanted to die, I didn't know who I was, I couldn't accept myself, I couldn't see a life or path for myself.

“Now I am living in my own home in Dublin, a happy gay Traveller man, proud as punch.” 

For any young Travellers who might be afraid to come out, Darren says you have one life and you have to accept who you are and live it.

“There are barriers and there are thoughts going through these young people's heads, will their family talk to them? Will they accept them?

“Lately, I've seen a lot of Travelling families accepting their kids for who they are, especially with their sexuality.

“Come out, be you, be true to yourself, live the life that you want to live - tomorrow's never promised - so spread them wings and fly.” 

The #ProudAf campaign, which is funded and supported by the Department of Equality and Integration, will run throughout the month of October and will feature a nationwide washroom ad and digital screen campaign in Cork, Dublin, Galway and Limerick, as well as in all major third level institutions.