Ask Audrey: 'The less said about our attempts to put on a ballet in Scartaglin, the better'

Sorting out Cork people for ages

Ask Audrey has been sorting Cork people out for ages.

It’s bags packed on our WhatsApp group, Douglas Road Stunners Who Wouldn’t Be Seen Dead in the Queue for Lanzarote. Fifi_WhitePrius knew about the new Ryanair routes from Cork Airport before everyone else this week because she’s had affairs with EVERYONE, you didn’t hear that from me now. 

Anyway, she was straight on to the group with the list of places we could go to show off our Gucci Globetrotter Cabin baggage, you can’t afford it Audrey because you only live in Ballinlough. When Orla_VolvoXC90 saw the list she was like, soz bee-atches but most of those new Ryanair routes are for people who live in an estate in Midleton, get in the queue for one of those and you’re basically admitting that you haven’t changed your kitchen in two years.