Orlando Bloom's morning routine shows just how down to earth he really is
Orlando Bloom is full scale Modern Dad. He gives Katy Perry a lie in every day.
On Sunday, an interview with Orlando Bloom made parents around the world guffaw into their porridge (topped with soggy Cheerios leftover from the kid’s breakfast – fancy).
He’s a parent for the ages, the kind that builds in how brilliant he is at every opportunity. He’s the parent in the playground who hunkers down for a two-way conversation about why it’s bad to bite other kids. He’s smug. He’s all-knowing.
He practices eye-gazing with his baby daughter Daisy to ‘connect’ in the morning. Then he sings songs to her about himself. This is what I imagine them to be:
[sung to the theme tune of Peppa Pig]
Daisy is not your average baby of course. She wakes up cooing in her cot – not for the Bloom-Perrys the shame of an up-the-back poo first thing. After cooing back at his daughter, Orlando commences ‘connecting’.
Thanks to all of the singing, Daisy’s first word was ‘Dadda’, which Bloom takes as a personal triumph because his son Flynn (10) with Australian entrepreneur and model Miranda Kerr had the cheek to say “Mama” first.
The second time around, Bloom is finding this parenting lark much easier. “There’s less anxiety and more presence,” now, he reckons. But that’s more because he is a Capricorn than a decade older. It was just routine he was craving. The routine of the steady, calming life that comes with getting married to a world-famous pop star.
Connecting complete, it’s on to the daily practice of chanting, which he does for twenty minutes every day. He’s been a Buddhist since he was sixteen, and it has infiltrated his whole being. After chanting, he’ll think of a quote and type it into Instagram so his followers can be as chill as him. But that’s it. Orlando Bloom does not go down a social media hole. Not before he has earned his breakfast, anyway.
For a pre-breakfast, Bloom goes full L.A. He is just one man, after all, so he takes help where he can get it. For this Hollywood icon, it’s a witches brew of “some green powders that I mix with brain octane oil, a collagen powder for my hair and nails, and some protein.” Then, it’s off on a hike, where he listens to Nirvana to connect with himself, after all that connecting with his daughter.
Assumedly poor Katy Perry has arisen at this stage and has taken over the connecting with Daisy, but she doesn’t get a look-in from Bloom because it’s onto his real breakfast.
It’s porridge, but better, made with hazelnut milk and goji berries and vegan protein powder. He doesn’t eat that many animals, because sometimes he finds himself stunned by the beauty of a random cow on the side of a road, and that will stop him from eating steak for a while. Me too, Orlando. Me too.
When ten-year-old Flynn is staying with the Bloom-Perrys, it is non-stop Dadding. He is off on the school run, but not in tracksuit bottoms. Oh no, one must make an effort, reckons Bloom.
By the end of the day he is exhausted though, from all the Dadding he does. Like all parents of young children, he chases sleep, and he's doing well because his sleep tracker tells him he gets eight hours every night. What a man.
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