Pamela Joyce: 'I was struggling for a long time before I got diagnosed with depression'

This Much I Know: Today FM presenter and RTE Player star Pamela Joyce on family, life lessons, and battling depression

Pamela Joyce on the set of her RTE Player series Influenced.

I grew up in Galway, the youngest of four girls, so I’m fairly thick-skinned. My two eldest sisters have kids and they almost feel like my younger siblings as well. We’re all very close. I don't think I realised until recently how close I am with my parents, we’re like friends. They’re all in Galway so I’ve only been to visit four times in the last year. It’s been quite tough but I’m always on the phone to one of them. This year has really pointed out how much of a home bird I am.

There are seven years between me and my next sister so it’s not a huge secret that I was a surprise. But my Mom always said I arrived with a purpose and I was determined to get here whatever way I could.

I believe we have to work hard to get where we want to be. When I started in radio four years ago I set myself a target and said that I wanted to be an on-air presenter in Today FM by the time I was 30. So I worked hard and I reached my goal three years early. I think I had the raw materials but you need to put them into action to get to where you want to be.

I’m quite proud of how I got to where I am. I didn’t know anybody in or anything about radio when I started so I kind of went out on a whim. I started doing impressions online and a local radio shared my video and I asked if they did internships and built it from there.

On two occasions in my life I’ve been diagnosed with depression, once when I was 20 and once when I was 25. I was struggling for a long time before I got diagnosed and I wasn’t really aware of what it was. Now it’s a far more talked about thing but this was eight years ago. I was mortified, I didn't want anybody knowing. I'd be in work having a panic attack in the bathroom and then come back into the office cracking jokes and trying to hide it, which wasn’t good for me.

You don’t know when it’s going to get better, it could be a week, it could be six months, it could be a year. When you're in the depths of it it's hard to believe you will come out of it. You just have to kind of blindly believe that it is going to get better and thankfully every time it’s happened it has gotten better.

Pamela Joyce on the set of her new RTE Player show Get Your Sh!t together.

When I was growing up I wanted to be famous. I didn’t care what it was for or how I got there. I wanted to win an Oscar or host The Late Late Show. But the older I get, none of that matters. As long as I’m happy in my job and can live my life comfortably I don’t need all the bells and attention. I would like if people brought me up in conversation that they would say I was kind and good company.

My best quality is my sense of humour. I try to see the positive in everything. When there’s a bad situation I always try to crack a joke and lighten the air a little bit and cheer people up when I can.

I think an important lesson we can all learn is that it doesn’t cost anything to be nice to people. You don’t know how a little smile can perk someone up who’s having a bad day.

The advice I tell myself is that if something isn’t for you, remove yourself from the situation. Whether it's a job or a relationship or a move if you’re not happy there’s no shame in walking away if it doesn’t work out. At least you tried.

I would say I’m good with people. I used to be very shy but over the years I’ve started to love meeting new people. If someone starts at work I make it my job to go over and talk to them. My sisters will always push me to the forefront and be like “You do the talking there now Pam.” 

The thing that surprises me is how I can function on very little sleep. No matter how little I get, it could be three hours because I get so panicked I’ll sleep in, the second show starts I’m wide awake. For those two hours, it's like I slept for 40 hours the night before.

My biggest fear would be not making the most of the opportunities given to me and looking back on my life and realising that I didn't reach my full potential. I get scared that my window of opportunity has passed and then I realise I’m 28, but I hope I never look back and say “I wish I had done that.” As long as I reach my full potential I think I'll be happy.

I’d like to think a different road would have taken me to a multi-million dollar mansion in Beverly Hills. My earliest memory was wanting to be an actor. I made my parents take me to stage school and I’d put on these little plays. I studied theatre in college and wanted to do it for my masters but my parents made me have a backup which was the best thing to do. But, the dream isn’t dead yet, I like to think it’s just dormant. You never know, it might wake in the next few years.

Watch Get My Sh!t Together on RTE Player now.