Ask Audrey: I’m a shoo-in to front the Real Housewives of Douglas Road

Sorting out Cork people for ages

"It’s not like we’re over-run with rich or interesting people here in Mallow"

Hello, old stock. I had a lot of spare time on my hands last month because the office was closed so I couldn’t go in and practice my harmless flirting with our stunning intern from Bilbao. (Well, hola to you!!) Anyway myself and Hoggy decided to put together a pilot for a TV show — it’s called Posh Eye for the Norrie Guy. 

It’s where myself, Hoggy and Duckie Prendergast go up to the northside and fix a Norrie. We teach him how to say ‘is’ instead of ‘do be’ and ask for ‘ketchup’ instead of ‘red sauce’, that sort of thing. The problem is our pilot video went viral online and we’ve been labelled as ‘a pack of elitist homophobic dinosaurs ’. Duckie thought that was a compliment, but I reckon it’s a slur. Do you think I should sue?