Julie Jay: How Frozen and Girls Aloud announced my perimenopause diagnosis

A geriatric pregnancy will almost certainly result in parenting small children through the perimenopause- and it’s not for the faint of heart

When the medics sat me down and talked me through the potential risks of a geriatric pregnancy, they failed to mention the major risk: that you may be inadvertently setting yourself up for an explosive combination of toddlerdom and perimenopause. Picture: iStock

Pass our home on any given day these last few weeks, and you might bear witness to high-pitched howls, unprovoked tears, and heightened emotions. You may be forgiven for assuming that it’s the children who are responsible for the erratic playlist emanating from the open windows. After all, at various intervals throughout the day, Kelly Clarkson, the Frozen soundtrack, and Girls Aloud all may be heard blaring, but in fact it is the mother of the home who is to blame for the musical medley. A medley announcing the arrival of peri, peri, perimenopause.

When the medics sat me down and talked me through the potential risks of a geriatric pregnancy, they failed to mention the major risk: that you may be inadvertently setting yourself up for an explosive combination of toddlerdom and perimenopause, a recipe for Spotify algorithm disaster and a time that will almost certainly involve you texting your mother once again to find out what time you were born. Yes, I’ve been finding my birth chart again, which means it’s not going well.