My Childhood with Neil Delamere: Our back garden was the closest we had to Croke Park

The comedian on his failure to achieve sporting greatness, the Irish comedians that inspired him to try stand-up, and the unwavering support of his parent that made it possible

Neil Delamere: 'Lots of people assume I grew up being the class clown, but I was shy of drawing attention to myself.'

Comedian Neil Delamere recently found one of his old school reports from fifth class. He chuckles as he says, “The teacher wrote that I was a nice boy who worked hard, but — and I quote — I talked so much it had to be seen to be believed. Surely, there’s a precursor there for my chosen career.”

Delamare was born in 1979 and grew up in Edenderry, Co Offaly. His father, John, worked for Bord na Móna, and his mother, Kay, had been in the civil service, but left due to the marriage bar.

“The 1980s were tough economically, but, luckily for us, Dad had a good job, and our mother looked after the four of us at home,” says Delamere. “Edenderry wasn’t the commuter town it is now. It was quiet and we were all pretty innocent. 

"The only naughty thing I can remember anyone doing is bringing those syringes you use for dosing cattle into school, filling them with water, and spraying the rest of us. It wasn’t exactly the ghetto.”

One of his earliest memories involves a visit to Lough Owel in Mullingar. “It must have been some strange Goldilocks temperature,” he says. “It was warm enough for me to be in the lake with Dad. I remember him swinging me around. But we also had bottles of 7Up in the lake, so the water was cold enough to keep them cool. Maybe it wasn’t that warm at all, and we jumped in the water at the merest suggestion of sun. But that day remains magical in my mind. It was so rare to be in the water with Dad.”

Delamere enjoyed sports as a child, but failed to realise his big ambition. “I wanted to be a brilliant footballer, but I was too slow, so I tried more unusual sports, instead,” he says. He tried martial arts. His sister represented Ireland at fencing, so he tried fencing. He also tried swimming.

“I even swam for the county,” he says. 

But, to be honest, saying you swam for Offaly in the 1990s is like saying you played Gaelic football for Mozambique.

Despite not being the best footballer, Delamere spent countless hours in his childhood kicking a ball with his friends, often in his parents’ back garden.

“That back garden was the centre of our universe, because, one Christmas, Dad asked a metal fabricator friend of ours to make me a set of goals,” he says. 

“None of my friends had anything like that and once I got those goals, our back garden became the place to be. It was the closest we had to Croke Park or Wembley Stadium.”

Delamere’s three older siblings — Fiona, Ian, and Rory — are what he calls “a close-knit bunch, all born a year apart. I was the surprise package that came along seven years later.”

That big age gap meant he was treated as the baby of the family, and he says his parents “doted” on him. “Our relationship was always special. I remember my mother would call me ‘a leanbh mo chroí’.”

Neil Delamere with his mother, Kay, and father, John, in 1988, celebrating his First Holy Communion.

His mother died in 2021, but he still lights up when talking about her. “She was a powerhouse,” he says. “She set up Meals on Wheels and a laundry for the elderly and helped found the Citizens’ Advice Bureau and the Edenderry Festival. She was the PRO of the golf club and taught typing. She was get-up-and-go personified.”

His father is 90, and they are close. “It’s surprising, because we don’t share the same interests,” says Delamere. “Dad loves horse racing and greyhound racing, which I’ve no interest in. I follow Liverpool, but he doesn’t care about soccer. But we both love reading and quizzes. My mother loved quizzes, too. One of my regrets is that she never got to see me on Countdown or Celebrity Mastermind. She’d have loved that.”

He may have been chatty at school, but Delamere never imagined he would become a performer. “Lots of people assume I grew up being the class clown, but I was shy of drawing attention to myself,” he says. “I didn’t even take part in the musical we did in fifth year at secondary school.”

It was only when he moved to Dublin to study computer applications at Dublin City University (DCU) that he began to push himself out of his comfort zone and become interested in comedy.

“I left home at 17, but Dublin was only 38 miles away, and I moved in with my brother,” he says.

“So, I still had the security of being with family, but I also had freedom to try new experiences and learn new things about myself and the world.”

He attended his first stand-up shows while at DCU and remembers being “entranced” by Deirdre O’Kane and Dara Ó Briain.

“After watching their shows, I told myself that I’d try stand-up one day.

"Looking back, he thinks moving away from his small town gave him the confidence to eventually try. “Very few people knew me in Dublin, so it didn’t matter if I tried and failed,” he says.

He believes youthful bravado had a role to play, too. “Young men want to do things that make them scared. They want to push themselves to find out who they really are.”

The final factor in his decision to give comedy a chance was the unwavering support of his parents. “They always told us that whatever happened, we could always go home,” he says. 

“Knowing they were my safety net allowed me to take risks in life, and I wouldn’t be where I am today were it not for them. They did so much for me and for all four of us.”

• ‘Reinventing the Neil’ is coming to the Grainstore in Ballymaloe on May 31 and The Everyman in Cork on September 25. Visit neildelamere.com for booking details.